And here I go lashing out again...
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| Sun, 09-21-2008 - 8:08pm |
So I think in my disapointment of german guy I lashed out at medic maybe? No, not maybe.. because in the end he showed his true colors.
He called today shortly after receiving my email from german guy.. and was very sexually blunt and crude. Medic and I have been sexually active with eachother in the past. He also made some sugar momma joke.. that just really put me off. It made me feel not good enough.. so I called him on it. I told him that it all makes sense as to why he backed off in the beginning. I really think he wants someone to stroke his ego when needed (me) and come in and save him (not me). He laughed, that i'm being silly. Then the true colors come out.. "Michelle we broke up a while ago, and we've been friends ever since, thats it" I told him no.. we havn't been friends, I've been your on call wh0re since we split. He again tells me I'm nuts since we have not even had sex in a month. Agreed, but that does not keep you from calling and always talking about it. Its him, school, sex... thats it. What kind of friend is that? That just makes you feel like some worthless cheap nothing in the end.
I told him no more wh0re calls, and I'm sure that will limit our communcation drastically.
Today is just one of those days where the wind got sucked out of my sails ya know? I just want someone to wake up and realize how great I am. Not just anyone of course.. but people I've met and have cared about. WAKE UP!

Ew. He sounds kind of creepy. I think the sex talk after a break up is kind of weird.
I think you, like me, are getting impatient dealing with difficult men. I think there is someone out there for us, but we are getting caught up with the wrong ones.
Some guy emailed me today. Totally not my type, job and lifestyle wise (totally rich), but he's nice looking, smart, has kids, maybe this time something might be different. Coming off of the last one, I'll give it a shot. I've got to get away from man-boys.
It will happen for you. But the loneliness is overwhelming some days, isn't it?
It is overwhelming on days.. and today is one of those days. Like I've said before in other posts.. I don't mourn a specific person. Its not ONE man that makes me sad and lonely that I pine for. I'm missing that feeling, I'm missing what could be. And when a bad day comes along it just becomes very heavy on my
I feel your pain, girl. I'm 44, spent my whole adult life with a jerk and in the past 6 months have met nothing but jerks. I just want someone to really want to be with me, I want that mutual feeling. I know about the roller coaster, too. I asked Mr. Ghost on Friday if he really wanted to keep doing this, he said yes, but then canceled out on me Saturday AT 5, said he'd call later and never did. Jerk. His message said not to worry about what we talked about Friday, he really DID want to do this, asked me to call back to let him know I got the message, and when I did said, "can't talk, I'm on the set right now" complained about his ailments. Ugh.
I think I keep putting up with this because nothing else seems to be popping up. I want someone and I KNOW this isn't it and that is what makes it all so lonely.
Try not to despair (this coming from a woman who has taken to crying in the car so as not to alarm the kids) it will get better. Just have to believe it, I guess.
I would not feel bad about lashing out at Medic. It is just what you said! And you are tired of it..and he needs to know that. I would be very tired of that too, if I was you.
Just want to send you hungs and encouragement. I know how hard it can be in those times inbetween when you feel like no one understands you, and it seems like there
I think I can understand what you are feeling.