Another Day Has Almost Come and Gone

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Another Day Has Almost Come and Gone
5
Sat, 05-20-2006 - 11:59am

Can't Imagine What Else Could Go Wrong, Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door, a single battle lost but not the war, but tomorrow's another day, and I'm thirsty anyway, so bring on the rain, It's almost like the hard times circle round, a couple drops and they all start coming down, yeah I might feel defeated and I might hang my head, I might be barely breathing- but I'm not dead, no-so bring on the rain

So, lately I've been feeling pretty listless about dating, life, work... everything, I guess. It's rained here, for, oh, I don't know about a decade. Well, at least a week, on and off. There's major flooding north of me, and my lawn seriously needs mowing, but it won't stop raining long enough for me to do it.

I haven't met anyone new. I haven't met anyone old. I haven't met anyone at all.

The kids are good. Princess Spasticka's spastic, but now she's 5 going on 21, rather than 4 going on 15- which is entirely different. She thinks she's too old for a booster seat. She thinks bikinis and belly baring shirts are appropriate daycare attire. (she doesn't even OWN such items of clothing, yet is very creative in turning the things she does own into them.) She thinks her hair should be blue, or pink, or maybe rainbow colored. She wants to pierce her nose. I want to pierce my eyes.

Android's an alien being from the planet Nebula. He lost a tooth this week. He plays baseball with other alien beings. Three days a week. In the rain. The coach is also an alien being. They think it's fun. He wants guitar lessons. I told him after baseball was over, because really, how many nights a week should I be driving him to activities? His reply was 8, and we sang the Beatles song.

Online dating is a bust. I check my email. I check my voicemail. I check the websites. I check again. Nobody likes me, everbody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms. Not really. Things have slowed down. Way down. The men who "wink", or make "eye contact" are too far away, or have an issue I'm not cool with. I don't make any effort either, though, because I'm at the point where I don't see the point.

So, a couple of guys my friends know have "expressed interest", but nothing has come of that. Yet. Maybe. I need sunshine. I'm not a rainy day kind of girl. If the sun doesn't shine soon, I think I'll go insane.

I'm not depressed. I'm just blah. Work is work, the kids are good, my friends are good and I'm really generally happy. But I remember being happy about how I was dating, and meeting lots of different guys, even though nothing was actually coming of it. Now I'm tired of it. I'm ready to be in a relationship.

Does this happen to everyone? Do you get sick of this stupid ritual? I'm tired of all the questions- where did you grow up, who do you know, what do you like to do, how many kids do you have, what's your favorite color, how many eyelashes do you have? GRRRRRRRR

I would love to be able to blink, twitch my nose, wave my magicical mommy wand my kids are positive I have, and bypass all of that, and insta-relationship, here you have it- happily ever after, I'm Cinda-stinkin-rella. Fast forward 3 or 5 or 10 or 20 years or something. Ugh. I'm in a funk, I think, and starting to worry that there really isn't anyone out there for me.

I think I'm beginning to see that every person- every single (well, not single, is my point) person around me, is paired up. Not all of those unions are necessarily happy deep down, but everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE I know, is married, or in a committed relationship. I don't know ANY single people. NONE. The last single people I knew are getting married in two weeks.

I'm happy for them, but I knew them both before they knew each other, and it hit me when I got the invite that this was it- these were the last single people in my life, and they aren't single anymore. I'm not usually bothered by this at all, I love my friends, and their spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever. But suddenly, I'm feeling way too old for my age.

I know I'm young. I know I have a long time before I need to worry about finding someone. My main concern is that I start to get so lonely and want to be with someone so badly that I settle. I see people do this all the time. I have done this before. i know it can only lead to disaster. I know this.

Damn rain. Where's the sunshine?

Moody- who's living up to her name today


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 05-20-2006 - 1:08pm

Aw, Moody... sounds like you're having one of those "Lonely Arms" days that was coined over on DASP- to describe just what you're going through. That feeling like you're the only one left and what pickin's left are no pickin's at all. And wanting to have SOMEONE to hold but no one available. I don't like those days either! And I never know what would make them easier except to just dive into some chocolate. (and no, it doesn't work- but it tastes good at least)

I know what you mean about OLD too- I've been there as well- where it gets like some long drought and NO signs of good "guy clouds" coming to rain dates down on you. That's usually when I let my subscription run out and just ignore the whole OLD thing for a few months. Usually after sitting it out for about 6 months, I'm ready to get back into it again and give it a new try. I think I've cycled through that several times before I landed my Hiker- who I met through match. It's just aggravating that OLD isn't a more sure way, or a faster way to get there!

I love your descriptions about what is going on with your kids. That is just precious, every little sweet thing as well as the gripes. They sound very typical as well as adorable!

IMO, Cinderella should be shot, for putting these fairy-tale thoughts into our heads for so many years. I've never seen HER try speed-dating or get asked what kind of underwear she wore in her journey towards finding her Prince. :-P lol

Hope you have a great weekend... and WE need that rain down here!!! Desperately! I would LOVE to see some overcast days with NO SUN and nothing but rain.

~shrimpy, living just shy of "he!!" this week

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Sat, 05-20-2006 - 2:19pm

I found my guy when I wasn't looking. Truly, I had given up and decided I was going to be happy with life as a single gal. I made all kinds of plans to meet new people. Not to date, just to have fun. I made a new girlfriend and went on social events with a single's group (not a dating group, just single friends).

I still had an online profile, but it was hidden. For grins and giggles, I checked the profiles in my area and saw a guy that I could have known. I recognized him. I sent him an email as a lark and we've been together ever since. I wasn't sad or lonely when I met him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sat, 05-20-2006 - 8:42pm

While watching the weather channel, I'm always struck by the irony.

How can half the country be plagued by drought and wildfires, while the other half is flooded? Maybe not half, but you get the idea.

Seems like my dating life has been like that a lot lately, so it's getting to me even more.

And Fivesense, I know what you are saying, and even though my original post may have seemed totally morose and desperate and just plain ole sad, I'm not a sad person. I'm not a depressed kind of girl. In fact, I'm a very happy girl.

However, I did some recollectin' today, and we've had rain here every day since 4 days before mother's day, except on Mother's Day. It hasn't rained all day every day, but that's some cloudiness. I feel for all of you dealing with drought, and I'm sure I wouldn't be able to stand that, either- I know my well wouldn't.... but I really need some sunshine, you know? That much cloudiness would make anyone feel blue, at least a little.

Anyhow, I guess, in my own rambling, off on a tangent way, all I was really trying to convey was that I was ready to just let whatever would be, be. If something happens, great. If not, that's cool, too. I'm tired of trying so darned hard to date. I'm ready to stop dating and just be in a relationship now.

Now all I have to do is find the person I want to be in a relationship with. Piece of cake, right? Right? Yeah.

Moody- who's "lonely arms" were full of giggling kiddos all day, and really, what more could anyone ask for?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 05-20-2006 - 11:57pm

I so get like this too Moody. I am totally bored of guys. I don't care. I just want to sink away and not deal with anyone. It just feels like too much effort. The excitement of it all has just faded away. I just feel like I am totally bored of everything.

But I know it will all go away and I'll be back to my normal self again within a few days.
You are definitely NOT alone. I am a sunny day girl too. It's been either rainy and cold here or sunny and with a freezing wind so I don't even want to go outside regardless. We have a frost warning tomorrow night even!! Come on!!! It's MAY people!!

--snow, fellow Cinderella sniper

hey, and you still have that bartender-event to look forward too!! :) Be-I LOVE hearing your predictions, how fun! I dig that kind of thing, as I do Tarot or Faerie cards sometimes, but nothing more serious than that. The Faerie Cards are freakishly accurate--they even predicted my son! :O

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 7:44pm

You are the victim of TMOLD - too much online dating.

You cannot judge your self worth on the number of people online who want to date you.

I really think you should exchange "the desire to date" with the desire to make your life so good you don't want one. What can you do to get out there socially so you are having fun? What can you learn - do you want to take classes? Find something that will consume you and make you happy?

This is how you run into him.

There are lots of singles out there. Not EVERYONE is married, I promise!

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