Another nitemare X situation ....
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Another nitemare X situation ....
| Mon, 09-24-2007 - 9:29pm |
God! Will it NEVER end? No, it wont. B/c he is her father. I hate this.
| Mon, 09-24-2007 - 9:29pm |
God! Will it NEVER end? No, it wont. B/c he is her father. I hate this.
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Continued hugs for you about all this, R!!!! (will it ever END?!? I'm still waiting for the long-walk-on-a-short-pier deal...) ;-)
But I can tell from what you've said over the years (and for the boardies- this HAS gone on for years)- that whatever help you try to get for him, will be seen as nothing but an attack on him (that HE needs fixing- because he will never see that HE has a part in fixing HIS emotions- it's always someone else's fault).
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
<I don't really expect counseling to change HIM, but it will give Averey a safe place, with a neutral party, to be able to confront him & at least get her feelings out. >
I agree with you completely about counseling not changing him.
Oh sweetie I'm feelin for you and your little one too. Avery having a counselor is an absolute must and I'm so glad she has one. It is so difficult as a mother to watch your child in any kind of pain. I do understand you position that he is her father, but bless your heart, sounds like you have done everything under the sun to help the father/daughter relationship.
Because of her father's illness, unfortunately, Avery has to find her own way to deal with him and a counselor can certainly help her do that. My daughter saw a counselor after me and her dad split. At 8 years old, she would talk with her counselor on her own after the first few visits without me in the room (which I think is best) and I think it helped her tremendously. She could say anything she wanted about me or her dad and neither one of us heard. It's so hard for kids at that age to deal with all the questions in their heads. And so not to put down the dad in front of them, you can only say so much to your child (but sometimes you gotta draw the line on that too). I think for now, Avery needs one all her own and at some point maybe have an Avery/Dad session with that counselor.
Rebecca,
First of all ((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))
I know how difficult it is not only dealing with someone with a drinking problem, but someone with a mental illness.
Thanks Al.
Really, Im not trying to "fix" or "save" him. If my child didnt have to deal with his anger & abuse, then I would be SO SO SO far away from him, it wouldnt be funny. Not sure if you saw my reply above, but this is the reason I am pushing so hard for counseling: "I dont really expect counseling to change HIM, but it will give Averey a safe place, with a neutral party, to be able to confront him & at least get her feelings out. My thought is that there is a minisule chance his HEARING her will ever help him change, BUT - maybe it will help HER get some of it OUT, therefore, feel less stressed & not learn to just "bottle things up" & "take it".
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