ANother one hatingher job....
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| Tue, 10-26-2004 - 3:30pm |
He also has a guy in Houston that is doing what I'm doing. This guy apparently is tearing it up over there. He's got new files all the time, so obviously, I'm being shamed for it. It's not a confidence booster. No one wants to hear, "Well so and so is doing this...why aren't you?" I could care less what he's doing. It doesn't affect me at all and to tell me just puts me down.
I got into this because this man is a friend of Shane's and was looking for someone to branch out over here. Shane knew I was bored and asked me if I might be interested. I said I might be, but had to see what it was about. Next thing you know, the guy sends me a welcome packet with vague info other than what he said on the phone and assumed I was in. Just because on the phone I said it sounded interesting. Does that say, "Yes, I'm in!"? Nope. But Shane encouraged me to just try it to see if I'd like it. Just to give me a chance to stay home and make some money. So I did...for him.
I knew from the first day I met my boss that I'd hate the job, but I stuck with it. I still hate it. The only reason I've stayed is because I said I hated it to Shane and he threw a fit because I wanted to stop. It's not just that I hate it, but that I'm just cut out for this kind of thing. I don't go out as much as I should because of several reasons. I'm pregnant, and tired and emotionally drained from these fights I've had with Shane lately. I choose to focus on my marriage....NOT making money for my boss. If I quit, I disappoint my husband. If I stay, I will be unhappy because it isn't what I want to do. I have dreams and I want to get to try to make those happen.
Now the guy tells me when I mentioned we have two houses we've narrowed our search to that I might as well stop dreaming of a house right now because he won't finance us if I don't get some files to generate income for myself. He says they work with not so perfect credit, told me about cases he's had where the credit was FAR worse than Shane's and they were financed 100%. Why not us? He claims we have to go on my credit because supposedly Shane's is awful. He has no idea. He hasn't even run a report. Shane's credit has been in the process of being cleaned up lately. So much has been taken off that has been resolved. It looks so much better. But my boss wants to go on mine and if I have no income, he can't do it. And he refuses to go on Shane's. Shane has said he'd talk to him about this. We need to contract a home this week so we can close on December 1. We have a month. Not much time to jack around.
What would you do? Would you just quit anyway and risk having your husband or SO be disappointed in you or stay and hate it?
I'm just at the end of my rope with this crap. I hate the job, sick of my boss and want to pursue what is truly my calling.
Mel

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Hugs to you. Sorry you are having such a hard time with this job.
"I might as well stop dreaming of a house right now because he won't finance us if I don't get some files to generate income for myself." Sounds like a threat and blackmail to me. Don't let this guy bully you into staying at a job you hate because he is holding a threat over your head. The last guy I dated was a mortgage broker. You can always get someone to finance you. This guy is not the end-all be-all.
As for your husband, that's a tougher situation, because I know you don't want to disappoint him. But, you did try it, and you don't like it. If he really loves you, he wouldn't want you to stay at a job that you hate, just for him. There's a saying that goes "A man without dreams is dead". I would find it real hard to stay in a job I hated to please others, especially if I was pregnant. I think you should give up this job and follow your dreams. I always wanted to be a teacher. When I was graduating high school and thinking about college, I applied to a university out here by me, and I was accepted. My dad didn't want me to go to college to be a teacher because he said they don't make any money. So, I threw the acceptance card in the garbage, didn't go away to school, went to a trade school instead, became a secretary and have had the same job ever since. That was in 1982. I regret that decision all the time, but I can't set the clock back. The moral of the story is not to give up your dreams because of someone else. It only causes regrets. Best of luck to you.
Donna
This is my problem. I just want Shane to understand this is not to embarass him or make him look badly. I doubt my boss woul dlook at Shane and say, "shame on you for asking her to consider this". He'll understand that I'm not happy and want to do something that fits me better. Like any employer that loses an employee to another career. You hate to lose them, but you wish them well in their endeavors.
The biggest thing with the financing is that the company I'm with is the ONLY one with will work with a lower credit score. Shane's is not going to be very high. Not incredibly low, but not high enough for banks to offer us anything good. We can get 100% financing with my company. I know it already. Even with Shane's credit. He just has to run the report and see that we are going to be fine.
Mel
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And let me tell you something about credit and getting a mortgage. What this guy is telling you (and you are believing!) is a load of BS! And how do I know? Because I filed bankruptcy (yep, yep I did) after my divorce when things were completely overwhelming and I went to 3 credit counselors who all told me they couldn't help me because I had WAY too much debt and didn't make enough money. That was only 3 years ago - and my bk was discharged a little over 2 years ago. My credit SUCKS. TT - let's discuss him and his credit. 4 years ago, his mom was taken out of assisted living and put into full time nursing care. Until the State of South Dakota accepted her and began paying her bills, TT and his siblings (only 2 of whom work) had to pay for her care. If they didn't - the nursing home would have literally put her on the street. As she has severe ms, is wheel chair bound, catheterized, and tube fed - no one could take on the responsibility. So - on top of TT's rent, car payment, credit card bills (and he had TONS) and child support (which totalled $1,000 a month at that time) - he was paying 1/3 of her nursing home bills. He was late on everything - his car payment, his credit card bills, his rent - the only thing he was never late on was his child support and his mom's bills. After 11 months of that (yes, it took the state that long) he was financially devastated. The state refunded him and his siblings the money - and he paid off numerous debts - but all of those late pays are STILL on his credit. His credit score was 100 points LOWER than mine.
We were approved for a $400,000 mortgage. By two different companies. At a pretty danged decent interest rate. One company we went through was Ameristar - online - and another was called First Horizon Home Loans - they have offices ALL OVER America. And a ZERO DOWN loan. The only thing we paid were closing costs.
DO NOT believe what this man is telling you. It's bunk. You have more options. Screw banks. They are there for the wealthy with perfect credit. That's not me - and that's not half of America, either.
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
I have edited this original post. I re-read it today and felt awful for the things I typed about Shane. It's not my place to judge the dynamics of your relationship and I was in a feisty and irritable mood last night when I typed it. I hope you will accept my apologies.
Edited 10/27/2004 2:24 pm ET ET by orange_clouds
The guy that did his mother's mortgage is going to handle our situation. He knows Shane's credit score and that we have no money to put down, so he said it wasn't a problem and he'd handle it. I have faith that this will happen. I'm not going to stress over something I can't control. It will happen because it is meant to. People get what they deserve eventually and we deserve to have a nice house that we own.
Screw the banks....good one! I think I will!
Mel
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Don't let the boss make you feel guilty. It's up to you to follow your dreams and make them come true.
Sending you some hugs and positive energy hoping that you can make it happen!
Tara
You sign up 3, they sign up 3, then they sign up three, etc. PYRAMID!
Not that it's not a great service to have. I mean it's just 20 bucks a month and you have legal representation from your own attorney, and you get Will service, all kinds of stuff. But pushing it is tough. But not according to my boss. He has people all over the place under him and his nephew does too. The whole Diamond, gold, pearl, manager crap sounds like Amway. I don't want to do it. BUt he shamed me about it yesterday because he got a call from one of his people while he was with me and this guy is a manager and was in the process of signing up another person. He says, "He's making lots of money just like you could have." What a load of crap!
If I'm not interested, I'm not. It's not for me.
Some people can't get it. Shane agreed with that one. He thought it sounded hokey. As for this job, well, I'm wondering if he'll agree with me now that we're financing under a different company. I wonder how my boss will feel knowing he just got screwed out of a good amount of money because he jacked around and used threats. We're 100% approved, need no money, and all we have to do is choose the house. Sounds good to me.
Now how can I go market my own business when I didn't even use it? Tell me that!
Mel
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I think you should find something that makes you happy. Time is ticking until baba comes. What have you done in the past for work? Maybe we can help you brainstorm.
I taught dance. I loved it. Taught little ones. I taught for a big studio in Virginia and the only downfall was the owner's way of running things stressed me out. But that's not all owners. Just her. I danced since age two. It's my dream to do it again. It involves working just after the kids are out of school until about 8-9 at night. And I'd be off in the summer and make no money then. D woul dhave to come with me to work until Shane could get off and then I'd miss all evenings with my son with homework and tee ball, karate, etc. Not worth it. Not while he's little and then the baby...well I can't miss out on that.
Mostly what my choices are is secretarial work. Can't do retail even though it's fun because of the hours, and I'd have to work mornings at any place so I can be off in time on Fridays to take Dylan to his dad.
Us living an hour away from my family and two hours from Shane's it's hard for me to find a job where I can work whatever hours. No one can come by and watch the kids. Daycare is fine on weekdays, but there is none on weekends. No where. Shane's work schedule is full. He works til 7 or after most weekdays and attends auto auctions once or twice a week as part of his job. He also works every Saturday unless he takes his one weekend a month off.
I've thought of everything. I want to do something. SOMEthing. It just has to agree with Shane's work schedule because he can't change it and it has to allow me time with my kids because I can never get that time back.
I thought of being a Realtor, but the competition is fierce, however, I'm good at that kind of thing, people would be coming to me for a house because there's a need there and people are gonna be coming in the office. My realtor comes in as he pleases. He is able to be contacted by his cell phone and even though he has no listings yet of his own, he'll get there. It's a thought. I mean at least I could work by appointments and my broker could introduce me to clients just as he did for my realtor. That's how I met the guy. And he's been a sweet heart. Very good to us.
I'm good at a bunch of things. I'm creative, artistic, thoughtful, love to give advice, love to listen, trendy, bubbly, and I enjoy the company of others. Let's play "Name that Career!"
LOL
Mel
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Otherwise I think your idea of realtor is good - although the start out curve is really steep - that is - it takes time and effort to get certified and to acquire a client base. I am not sure how you feel about that and especially now with your pregnancy/new baby.
I also like your idea about secretarial stuff - is there an agency who has a hire-a-temp service and you can chose days/hours? Or a local company who would need your help during school hours? Or could let you work at home?
You sound like you would be good in marketing. But you need something better to market!!
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