ANother one hatingher job....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
ANother one hatingher job....
20
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 3:30pm
I swear I want to quit this thing. I've gone out to quite a few places dressed to the nines and being very bubbly and professional and excited and I give these realtors such a great reason to work with me, yet they refuse to bite. Nothing. Just no success. All the while, I'm getting chewed out by my boss who isn't here day to day to see how hard I try. He claims I'm just not trying, not doing anything just because I'm not reporting my every move to him. Sorry, but I'm not up to being on my phone for an hour every few hours to discuss the same ol thing with him over and over. It gets old.

He also has a guy in Houston that is doing what I'm doing. This guy apparently is tearing it up over there. He's got new files all the time, so obviously, I'm being shamed for it. It's not a confidence booster. No one wants to hear, "Well so and so is doing this...why aren't you?" I could care less what he's doing. It doesn't affect me at all and to tell me just puts me down.

I got into this because this man is a friend of Shane's and was looking for someone to branch out over here. Shane knew I was bored and asked me if I might be interested. I said I might be, but had to see what it was about. Next thing you know, the guy sends me a welcome packet with vague info other than what he said on the phone and assumed I was in. Just because on the phone I said it sounded interesting. Does that say, "Yes, I'm in!"? Nope. But Shane encouraged me to just try it to see if I'd like it. Just to give me a chance to stay home and make some money. So I did...for him.

I knew from the first day I met my boss that I'd hate the job, but I stuck with it. I still hate it. The only reason I've stayed is because I said I hated it to Shane and he threw a fit because I wanted to stop. It's not just that I hate it, but that I'm just cut out for this kind of thing. I don't go out as much as I should because of several reasons. I'm pregnant, and tired and emotionally drained from these fights I've had with Shane lately. I choose to focus on my marriage....NOT making money for my boss. If I quit, I disappoint my husband. If I stay, I will be unhappy because it isn't what I want to do. I have dreams and I want to get to try to make those happen.

Now the guy tells me when I mentioned we have two houses we've narrowed our search to that I might as well stop dreaming of a house right now because he won't finance us if I don't get some files to generate income for myself. He says they work with not so perfect credit, told me about cases he's had where the credit was FAR worse than Shane's and they were financed 100%. Why not us? He claims we have to go on my credit because supposedly Shane's is awful. He has no idea. He hasn't even run a report. Shane's credit has been in the process of being cleaned up lately. So much has been taken off that has been resolved. It looks so much better. But my boss wants to go on mine and if I have no income, he can't do it. And he refuses to go on Shane's. Shane has said he'd talk to him about this. We need to contract a home this week so we can close on December 1. We have a month. Not much time to jack around.

What would you do? Would you just quit anyway and risk having your husband or SO be disappointed in you or stay and hate it?

I'm just at the end of my rope with this crap. I hate the job, sick of my boss and want to pursue what is truly my calling.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 12:35pm
I thought of the dance class thing from home. Honestly. The houses we are looking at won't be big enough to have at home. I used to be certified as an aerobics instructor/personal trainer. That is a good field to be in for morning hours. Just need to get that certification back, which is very expensive.

We do have temp agencies here. I worked for one of the chains once. (I travelled with my ex while he was in the Navy, that is why I have so much experience in different things. I'm not as flightly as it looks). I loved placing people on jobs, but the hours are awful, but the idea of being hired PT thru one at another place couldn't hurt to inquire about.

The realtor thing is the closest thing I can see to be my place. I need to know my town better first, but I can learn. My agent right now is new to the area and he's doing fine. He's not afraid to call the office and ask for directions when I'm in the car. I'd rather that than get lost. I would feel fine about the startup because at least this time, I'd be working in an office where people already know it exists and I'mnot having to be out there intruding on other people's time. I hate that about my current job. It's just so hard to get up the nerve to go in and ask for someone and hope they have time for you. They mostly blow you off. This morning that happened. But I did go in and ask for her.

It's not that I don't think I could be successful at this. I do. I would be great if this town wanted the service. They just are a Southern town with Southern values. We are slower here and more set in our ways. The unknown is scary. That's why I'm not doing well at it. Plus knowing I'm new, they smell fresh meat and they love that smell. I'm a victim in their offices and they could wrip me to shreds if they felt like it. Happened yesterday. But I held my own. I am going to give it some time and a few more tries before I give up completely. Shane is good at overcoming objections. That's his job. My boss used to sell cars with Shane and has just begun putting me in the loop for arguing my point. He said I can even drive Shane into the ground like a nail if I wanted to. I just need to learn how. What a tool! To learn how to argue better with Shane when he gets all uppety! Couldn't hurt to learn. I did tell Shane he needs to teach me how to do this since he's so good at it. It's not that different than selling cars. I'm providing something and I have to convince someone they want what I have. My boss has the wrong approach. He shames me and I will eventually learn how to battle that.

So let's see....another couple of weeks. I'll go out every day, try my best and if I get no where, I'm done. Onto the next project!

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 12:50pm
I am betting that what makes Shane successful in his job is his attitude - not just a set of skills - although he must certainly have those.

I guess you have to hang in there. I can remember my first day as pastry chef at the Hyatt Westshore in Tampa, FL. I had moved there from AZ by myself. The first day and the first months were so stressful. My crew was horrible, the work load incredible and the equipment and facility not even close to what it needed to be. I wanted to walk out my first week.

I have never felt that stressed with a job ever. Somehow I stuck it out and the perseverance paid off. The job got easier and I got a big promotion three years later.

Of course all that was before a marriage or kids and it is easy to work like that without those. So you do have to balance your desire to succeed with that of your marriage and Dylan. Sounds like you are on the right track. They say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 1:13pm
I know. And I hate to be a quitter. I know I'm no quitter if it is just too horrible to handle and I hate it enough. Shane has lots of skills. He's been in the car biz for years and he worked from the ground up. He stayed on the lot all day waiting for customers, competing with other salespeople, having bad sales, weeks, months, and even went to various dealerships to find his perfect fit. He worked for this place before and I'll tell you, when he was looking for a job, they sought him out to come back. He's now a manager with them and they need him badly. He has an attitude necessary for what he does. It takes an ego. It takes lots of that. He knows he's the man around there. And they don't let him forget it. Is he stressed from being the best? Heck yeah! But if he can teach me some of the skills it takes to really get out there and be the WOMAN, then I'll let him do it. I'll let you know how it goes.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 1:25pm
Did you ever see the battle scenes from the Lord of the Rings Return of Kings? I think watching that gives a basic understanding of men and their real purpose. I know this is a fantasy but I see a real aspect, too. I also see this in male athletes when I am competing in triathlons.

_______________

Aragorn:

Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan. My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come, when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of Fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shileds when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you, stand, men of the West!

_______________

Anyway, Shane believes he is the best salesperson and goes forth to fight the orcs for the day. He would never stand to be second. He doesn't analyze it or take it personally - that is what we women would do!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 1:42pm

Mel, a couple of thoughts for you.....about your secretarial/written skills.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 1:46pm
I'm great at decorating. I have had a few paying jobs on the side decorating offices. I can't wait to get my hands on our house once we get it bought. This house, I left alone since we are only renting it. I hate the way it looks without my touches. So the creative artistic side is mostly interior decorating. I just lack the degree.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 1:52pm
have you considered getting a job as a paraeducator at D's school? They may be called something different in your area, but basically it's like a teaching assistant. You would work the hours that D is in school, get all holidays and summer's off and probably make a good hourly wage. You could start as a subsitute in the beginning and then work a more regular schedule.

Just an idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 2:07pm
It takes both a combination of skill and personality to succeed at sales. But the difference between what Shane does and what you're being asked to do is fundamental here. Your cold calling. He's not.

Shane sells cars to people who come into the dealership. I bet a lot of what he does has to do with listening to the customer to determine what they need and then talking them into getting more of what they WANT. Convincing people that they want MORE than what they came to get is easier, than convincing them they want something they weren't even looking for. Know what I mean? Cold calling is tough enough, if it's not your cup of tea to begin with, it can be miserable.

Watch the realtor thing carefully, I know our realtor who helped us find our house makes good money but he works hard. He is basically at the beck and call of his clients. He works nights, weekends, and all hours. He wrote up our offer papers at 10pm on a Thursday. And he was always darting from one place to the next. It's a very competitive field and if a client calls to see a house and he can't show it to them within a day's time, they just call another realtor. So just keep that in mind too.

Do you have a YMCA in your part of town? Maybe you could a job working mornings with them. Then you would get a free membership and discounted child care through them too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 2:22pm

I'm great at decorating. I have had a few paying jobs on the side decorating offices. I can't wait to get my hands on our house once we get it bought. This house, I left alone since we are only renting it. I hate the way it looks without my touches. So the creative artistic side is mostly interior decorating. I just lack the degree.


The home improvement stores like Home Depot and Lowe's hire people with decorating talent, yet don't necessarily have a degree, to work in their decorating centers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 3:30pm
COOL! I'll look into that!

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