anyone with a alky ex..............

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
anyone with a alky ex..............
18
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 10:38am

i need advice.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 10:54am

My DD(13) dad is a recovering alcoholic and I have discussed it with her just to let her know that she could have those tendencies.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 11:18am

Wow, you are definitely right to approach this with caution.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 11:52am

My children are much younger (6 & 4), but their father is a heavy drinker and it is

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 4:21pm

I think you should definitely talk to them and set them straight. Because they probably have a few ideas of their own and those might not be as good as the truth. I would present it in a positive manner and explain what it means to them and what they need to do.

I think I would also make sure they still have a good social life and activities and that the alanon, while good, doesn't overshadow their wonderful growing years and times just to be a kid.

But maybe others who have dealt with this have better advice - that is just my own opinion. I know when it comes to alcohol there is a lot to learn. Maybe you want to work with a counselor, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 4:33pm

This kind of conversation is never an easy one to have with kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 6:21pm

my reasoning for doing this is mostly that I am told by a close friend who'se dh is alky and she is a regular al anon member, that even tho I dont think the functioning alky is affecting them, it is and will more and more as they get older.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 6:31pm

good advice - maybe I won't be going tonite.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 7:23pm

ughhh i hate this, its just another thing on my list of important stuff, when he gets to deal with all the easy stuff


I too, deal with what I call a "disneyland dad".

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 7:31pm

Just my 2 cents here...


How long did you all live together under the same roof? If he was an active alcoholic even then- I would imagine that they would have internally felt the effects somehow even if not consciously.


I think I would be honest and first open up a dialog about drinking and how having an addicted dad effects them to different degrees. Talk about it openy and without fear or finger pointing- more of an objective, factual conversation and one tey can understand. I'd let them know you are looking out for them- just like you send them to the doctor for check-up and and shots. Hey- what kids LIKES that??


Would it be possible for you to go to the first one with them? Maybe you could all go together to check things out?


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 8:23pm

I think it's a wonderful idea, but not sure if it's something I would do yet... as you pointed out only the older one seems to see the issue at hand.


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