anyone else dread when ex is nice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
anyone else dread when ex is nice??
9
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 11:36am

My exh is being too nice lately. He's been supportive of the decision to homeschool our special needs DS. He's given me school materials for DS. He's been taking DS to lots of movies when he has him on the weekend. Exh seems normal and visits are going well.

Every time that he's done this in the past (i mean, be nice), he has been planning to take me to court. He is Mr. Nice Guy, only when he's stabbing me in the back.

I want to hope that this time is different. That he has moved on in some way. But, he's done this to me too many times in the past. I'm sick of the courtroom drama, but what he asks for in his petitions to the court is too unreasonable for me to accept without a fight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 12:20pm

That's gotta be hard! I hope that maybe this time he's being nice just because it's the RIGHT THING TO DO.

I'm not sure if I ever knew, but what special needs does your DS have? My 9-yr old has cerebral palsy, and I know it's always a battle to make sure things are in place for him with doctors and schools and everything.

Usually when my ex is being "extra nice" it's because he wants to get a delay on sending the CS because he bought himself something new. :-P I guess that won't be an issue with us anymore, but thankfully it was never a court thing for us! I'd be a bit nerve-wracked too- if I had to wait for THAT kind of shoe to fall! Keep us updated- and I hope it turns out to be nothing bad!

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 12:35pm

My son has autism spectrum disorder. He does well with one-on-one instruction, but our county didn't have a program for him. He's too high functioning for the classical autism class. He has too many social deficits to be in the mainstream class.

He's making so much progress since we started homeschooling and I'm so hopeful about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 3:31pm

My exes are completely out of all of it as far as my kids are concerned- my exhusband doesn't see them AT ALL, has had no contact for 5 years (my dd is 5) since he moved to another state. He doesn't call, keep up on their progress... nada.
My son's father sees him every other weekend, where they eat a lot of hot dogs and play a lot of video games. He's a Disneyland Dad. I'm trying to not care too much, since he at least has some sort of relationship with his bio father.
I guess it would be very hard for me to trust or believe either man if suddenly they wanted more involvement or to help with decisions regarding life. Since it hasn't ever happened, I don't worry about it too much, but I can definitely relate to not trusting kindness.
For your sake, and your son's, I hope that he really is just genuinely interested and finally sees that the child benefits so much from parents who can be civil to each other.
Please keep us posted, and good luck to you!

Moody, wishing you the best


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 3:51pm

My exh is nicer when he is not dating someone - because he has more time to take DS.

I would be unnerved if I was you. But didn't you say that the last time he took you to court it was considered frivolous and he had to pay all of the court/lawyer fees including yours?

I would not trust him if I was you, considering the background. Does your homeschooling have an effect on how much you are spending for DS? I mean, the only thing I can think of is that if you were paying some kind of tuition and are not he might try to get it reduced?

I can't imagine that he would have that much left to try to change. I pray that you stay okay. Keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 4:04pm

He didn't have to pay legal fees last time, but his child support obligation was doubled. Homeschooling wouldn't reduce his child support obligation.

My exh has not dated anyone since we separated in 1999. I wish he would date someone and move on with his life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 7:25pm

I should think that would keep him quiet for a while.

Do you think he might just be taking more of an interest in your son because your son is getting older, and doing better with the homeschooling, so it is easier for your exh to bond with him? That is somethign I have noticed with us - DS is able to do more fun stuff with his dad and they are having a lot of fun together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 2:16am

Oh Honey ... in the past EIGHT weeks, my X has been as good as he has been in 2 years. BUT ... all *^

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 5:20pm
Just getting caught up on these boards and so sorry to read you're having more of the same whacked out X situations. I have to, sadly, agree though for advice to the original post. Brace yourself, hope for the best, but be prepared for the usual s5!t. My X is the same kind of nutcase. My legal bills are obscene, seriously (just paid another 10K last week), yet I can't seem to get an attorney to really go after fees. They all know his atty quit because he refused to pay her and he's a psycho, she only took him back as a client because he'd have to pay upfront.
It would be nice if these guys would actually put their children's needs first, consider what is in the children's best interest, rather than continuing to focus on getting even with us. But if they were reasonable people we'd still be married to them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 2:58am

You said it. It just AMAZES me how he would prefer to put HIS anger before his CHILD!!!!!!!!!

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