Anyone else feeling self-conscious???

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Anyone else feeling self-conscious???
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Sat, 04-21-2007 - 12:40am

Ok - the one thing we definitely all have in common is the fact that we are single moms so I am sure someone out there can relate to this.... There was a time when I had a cute and relatively tight little body - those days are long past for me. I gave birth (emerg. c-sections after full dilation and crowning) to two 9lb babies that were both nursed. I have not been intimate with anyone except my stbx for 10yrs and add the fact that I am carrying 15 extra pounds.

I have recently reconnected with a former co-worker and I am certain that once I move to my new place in a few more weeks that we will be taking our relationship to the next stage. He is divorced with no children and recently broke off an engagement with a young spinning instructor....I probably don't need to say more but, bottom line, I don't think he has been intimate with a woman who has had children. I am concerned that the state of my body will be a large turn off for him. I am very self conscious of my new jiggly parts (belly and D breasts). How am I am going to get over this hurdle...I don't want my self confidence (or lack there of) ruin what could be a really fun time...

Rose

Rosecolouredspecs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 11:31pm

Thanks Florence - fundamentally I know you are right. There are some fabulous notes in this thread and lots of great advice. I think you are right, I know he has been interested in me for at least 10 years if not longer now. So I need to relax...breath, be sexy, breath....! :)

Rose

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 12:52am

Hey! Share the WEALTH!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 6:21pm

Your post made me laugh. I totally agree with the keeping the bra on. Plus if it is black and lacy it is a big turn on for most men. I am 50 and my BF just turned 49. He worries about his stamina - but let me tell you, he shouldn't!!! He thinks I am beautiful!! We met online and I posted my figure as "full-figured" when I thought I should just call it "overweight". After he saw me naked, he asked me why I thought I was full-figured (I am a D cup too). He thought I should have referred to myself as athletic!!! How's that for a laugh!! Before we slept together for the first time, he told me that I shouldn't worry about my body. He said this out of the blue one night when we were having drinks. I told him I needed to talk to him before we got together, referring to STDs, getting checked. He thought I was worried about my body - which I was as well. Anyway, he told me that any woman who has given birth should not worry about her body. It was so sweet!!!! And he works out regularly which has gotten me more into the gym. He has great arms and I am working on mine too!!

I think that's the only thing good about being older. I am not as obsessed about how I look as opposed to keeping healthy so I don't die younger than I have too! And as a result, I am probably in the best shape I've ever been in, even with a few extra pounds.

deb

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 12:19pm
Well I am a "32B" cup after two children, so I can relate to what Shrimpy says (I was a high B before those children sucked the boob out of me). I hate being so small but I don't want the boob job. I thought I did once (to make men happy), but I really like the way I am, so therefore I have decided to just be happy for me. If no one else likes me beyond the boobs, then they need to get lost anyway. It's not like they are looking at them bare naked 24/7. The WONDERBRA has done WONDERS for me. LOL. So it doesn't make me look too much like a stick and that is all that should matter. :) Oh and I get tired of people calling me twiggy. I EAT sooo much you wouldn't believe, but unfortunately everyone thinks I'm on the verge of anorexia. It's metabolism, I can't help it, but I get just as critized by people about it looking unhealthy as I do about women who have a few pounds to many. Sorry. It's the way it is. Why is everyone sooo picky??

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