Anyone else spending Christmas alone?
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Anyone else spending Christmas alone?
| Thu, 12-23-2004 - 6:00pm |
I was fine with the idea of spending Christmas alone. My family is not anywhere near me, dd is going to be with her dad this year (she's with me Christmas Eve), and my bf hasn't said anything about spending Christmas together. I tried not to talk about it, but then a couple people at work asked what I was doing and I told them, nothing, and that it was just going to be a nice, quiet, peaceful day. Then I was talking to my mom on my way home and she was saying I really should get myself invited to someone's house for dinner. No, I don't want to. So after all those questions now I am feeling like a loser that I don't have any plans. Please tell me I'm not the only one planning to spend the day alone?


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I think it's a great opportunity to relax and spend some time with yourself. Have a Merry Christmas!
Hey there
You're not a loser. Not to minimize your feelings because I know they are totally valid, but you do get to spend Christmas Eve with your dd, the most important person in the world and that's more than alot get this year. So be grateful for that and if you want to spend Christmas Day with your bf, tell him so. Don't play games or wait for him to ask you. Tell him you'd like to see him Christmas Day even if it's only for a little while. I'm assuming with all his custody problems he won't be with his own son? Maybe he's feeling blue and wants to hide this day, and maybe the two of you could have a great day together. But by all means, if you want to have the day to yourself, do it and don't feel bad about it or like you should be doing something else. Christmas is in the heart, it's not about a day. God knows us moms need a day alone now and then!!!!
I hope you have a great Christmas and Santa is good to you.
Hugs
Tara
I've spent Christmases and Thanksgivings alone. At first it was hard and I felt like I must be the only one, but that's not true. And at least I have a nice place to be. Lots of people hang at the Salvation army or something, being alone isn't the worst way to be on the holidays, I'm not homeless or destitute or chronically ill.
Last night I went to La Posada program with my hispanic church. It was so cool...bilingual and translated.
Two of my kids are around this Christmas, one went to ND with her dad. Of the two that are here, my 18 year old is housesitting most of the next 2 weeks for 2 different friends of ours, and tonight my 15 year old is overnighting at a friend's...so I'm going to be "alone" off and on. Big deal...I'm a grown up. And not having someone else to take care of and chauffer around is not a bad thing.
Tonight my son got me a pass to see Spanglish. Tomorrow night we might go to church...and we'll probably open our gifts Christmas Eve so we can sleep in Christmas morn. WE do Christmas our way now. My ex is really rigid about that kind of stuff...I'm SO not.
Christmas isn't just one day for me, it's a couple of weeks and tack New Years on the end. And you can always plan to not be by yourself the whole time if you don't want to be.
One year though, I just treated it like a jammy day. LOL...I rented movies I wanted to see that were JUST for me, had the treats I wanted on hand, and stayed in jammies all day and watched movies...no bra...ahhh, heavenly.
You're not a loser, you're just not a lemming running toward the ledge with the rest of the crowd. :)
My son is away with his dad and I will miss him. I know he misses me by his phone calls.
I am going to go to my parent's house and spend Xmas eve there. Then just a bit of time in the evening on Xmas with my sister - so I will spend part of the day alone.
I have a home office so I can get caught up on some work and on cleaning the house - just having some peace and quiet to myself.
If you do get invited to someone's house you can always offer to help them since you are not doing anything else. I have always found this to be a good way to look at this situation - you are going there to help them since you don't have responsibilities. And this help is usually very welcome - most people need help in their kitchens and doing dishes!!
I know many of us will be happy when we are through New Year's Day. I think that Xmas and Thanksgiving are hard to spend by yourself or without a SO.
HUGS!!
Ugh. I do want to spent it with my bf, but I think he may have plans with his family and he has not introduced me to them yet. He will not be able to see his son, but he does have his mom, siblings and their children. When and if he invites me to meet them is his choice.
And you are right, I am blessed that I have dd Christmas Eve and it will be a very special day for her and I. It is hard to think of not seeing her come down the stairs on Christmas morning, but it would not be fair if I always got that pleasure and her dad always missed it, which is why we agreed to alternate holidays. I certainly can't complain much when my bf has never been able to have his son on holidays unless it fell on his previously designated visitation day, and right now he has no designated days.
I think like juls said, I just wish people didn't know I was alone on Christmas (except for you guys of course) because that somehow makes it easier. I don't mind spending the day alone and I have planned for things to do, but I guess people knowing I am alone makes me think they feel sorry for me and I don't like that. And it may be more of a case of my mom pushing my buttons because it was only after her comments that I started to feel bad about it.
Edited 12/26/2004 9:45 am ET ET by firstamendment
Hi - long time lurker here! I spent xmas alone. I had my kids on xmas eve and their dad picked them up early xmas day. I actually look forward to the day by myself. After all the xmas shopping and all the preparations for our xmas eve party, I am so ready for a relaxing day at home. Most people don't get how I would want to be alone, but it's just another day. I rented movies, and I wouldn't tell anyone else this, but I didn't even shower - just hung out all day in my pj's - don't get to do that very often!
~dremer
Laura
I think it was more about missing her waking up on Christmas morning that it was being alone all day. I have plenty of days without her (half my life now), but I don't regret that she got to spend the morning and all day with her dad. It's just that she's 4 and it's hard to swallow missing her coming down the stairs and seeing all the gifts.
I have no idea what is going on with my bf. We always see each other the Friday night that dd goes to her dads, and it's been that way for a year. I hadn't talked to him all last week but that isn't strange, a lot of times we don't talk when I have dd. It was strange to not hear from him on Friday, and that when I called, he didn't call back. I assume Saturday he spent with his family, or it could have been on Sunday. I didn't call him again until Sunday night, he didn't answer and didn't call back. I've never been not able to reach him like this. Of course I start to wonder if something happened to him. If it did, nobody would know how to reach me to let me know (I haven't met his family and his best friend does not live nearby). But then I think if he was hurt his cell phone would be off or the battery would have died, and that is not the case. So the only conclusion is he slept all weekend (he does this a lot) because he is depressed about being away from his son. Has anyone dated someone who is depressed before? It's not been a life long problem for him, it's situational. If he could be with his son he would not be depressed. Usually I go to see him and if he wants to sleep, I sleep too. I have a chronic illness and I can sleep quite a bit. But maybe the sadness of it being the holiday and him not seeing his son was too much and he wanted to be alone. I'll give him a few days and see if he calls. Past that, I don't know what to do. What do I say to dd if I don't know where he is or if he's going to come over again? How do I find out what's going on if he won't talk to me?
I don't know, I haven't dated yet. But I did have a no strings attached relationship with a guy who I've known since he was 12 he's now 27 and I'm 33, the funny thing is that I dated his brother for 4 years in high school, so it was very hush with us but now he went back to his girlfriend, I guess my point is with that kind of relationship we had we wouldn't talk all week and that was fine for me, but if he was my boyfriend I don't think I could put up with that at all, especially since he hasn't even introduced you to his family, a year you have been with him and they haven't met you, what's up with that? I personally think maybe he should get some type of help med's or whatever, and do you find yourself happy in this relationship, I mean is that enough for you? Just wondering, you know better than I of course is he into this relationship at all, or is it just convient for him when he doesn't want to be alone. Here you are worried about him thinking something bad has happend and he hasn't even had the decency to call on christmas, you have a lot of confidence in him if it was me, I would be thinking what the heck is he with someone else, does he want me, where the heck is my christmas call let alone gift? Just my thoughts I hope to hear from you. I wouldn't feel bad I would be pissed when he call's me back.
laura
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