Anyone have tissue?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Anyone have tissue?
15
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 12:49am
I called MCDAD....left a voicemail.( don't usually leave them) So, I said I still have your jacket. He called me back. Said he didn't know what time he got home yesterday, he was tired but had a good weekend. The conversation was SOOOOOOO strained. I asked when he wanted his jacket. He said anytime.....Long pauses between each statement we made. He finally said he was going to take some

~Karen
˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡&#1244

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 2:54am

That sucks.

Take care,
Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 7:37am

Honey--I am so sorry.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 8:09am

I might not answer the door either if someone came to my house uninvited after I told them that I was going to take some Tylenol and would talk to them later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 9:16am

If I was you I would donate his jacket to goodwill and then not talk to him. But to me it sounds like you want validation or a last chance with him or some sort of explanation.

Maybe you should take a little time for yourself right now - time to recover from the shock of his actions - and time to think about what YOU really want - do you like the way his actions make you feel? Do you like to be sad? Or confused? On the plus side, he has taught you a lesson about dating and now you are free to find one who is really going to like you for you and really want you to stick around and have a great relationship with you - not just use you for a warm body when he needs one.

I am sorry that he made you so sad. But every day is a new one and if you allow yourself to get over him then you will find one much much better if you make that a goal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 9:17am
Oh sweetie I am sorry this is happening. I know how it feels and I bet EVERYONE else on here does too. I think your best bet right now would be to accept that McDad has gone into his man cave to do some thinking about where your relationship stands. You would do well to let him have that time forget about the fact you have his jacket and just put it aside for if and when he comes out of the cave to talk. Pushing wont help and if you need your glasses leave an email asking him to leave them for you somewhere like outside the house in a bag or something so you get your stuff back regardless of whether he is ready to talk. You could state it like you know he is busy and so are you but could he just leave them when he gets a chance and the two of you will catch up when you get time. Having each others belongings doesnt equal being ready to talk about a relationship so get the belongings thing taken care of another way and wait for when he is truly ready to put things on the table. In the meantime, take time out for yourself, meet with friends, keep busy and just remember you deserve someone who will know what they see in you and where you belong in their life. We all deserve that - it might just be that this guy isnt the one and/or the timing just isnt quite right.
BIG HUGS!!!
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 9:35am
Oh man, that bites chick!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 10:03am

Well that is certainly more kind than my suggestion - LOL!!

But I do think this is a gem:
"Having each others belongings doesn't equal being ready to talk about a relationship so get the belongings thing taken care of another way and wait for when he is truly ready to put things on the table."

Good stuff, Citylife!

I was thinking that McDad is probably not over his past and not ready for something more serious - just wanted to hang out and have fun and not complicate his life. And maybe too he likes to avoid conflict to the point where it is not good for the relationship?

To our OP notjust_mom - sorry for you - we do know what this is like - but the most questions you ask is the more you will have! We can all send you some chocolate and urge self care and maybe even retail therapy - go shopping!! That always works for me :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 10:16am

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone, either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 11:10am
Thanks West. I have dealt with enough family issues to know that when you have each other's things or have borrowed things from one another, money or otherwise and there are deeper emotional problems to hash out - the best way to get to the emotional problems is to rid yourself of the other connectors you have - i.e. belongings and money. Once those are swept away they cannot be used as ammunition or excuses for behavior - it just makes things clearer.
When people use items or money or even kids as an excuse to talk when really the talk has nothing to do with those things, my family calls that "entering into the theatre of the absurd" We wont do it with one another EVER and it has helped us soooooo much....the price of a ticket into the theatre of the absurd is well....ABSURD!!:)
I really think the OP needs to probably just wait until he is ready to deal and accept that he may never be ready as well. He may be upset that his free affection/sex/friendship with a marvelous woman has ended but that doesnt mean he is ready for a relationship. He might even be upset with himself that he is for some reason not ready for a relationship but that ALSO doesnt make him ready. I was with someone like that for almost 3 years - what a waste of my time!!
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 1:25pm

((((((Tiny)))))))


I know this hurts, sweetie. I'm really sorry things are not turning out they way you hoped. McDad has crawled into his cave and the truth is that no amount of bartering or calling will bring him out.


This is the time (and I KNOW how hard it is...) to rediscover yourself. The pain you feel will fall away as you honor yourself and do what you love right now. Call a friend, share here with us, go to dinner, love your kids, take a long bath, call family, get outside...anything to keep your mind off of him.


I'm sorry you had to let him go.


Peace and well wishes....


~Pacific~

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