Anyone with the kids all the time?

Avatar for aimsicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Anyone with the kids all the time?
15
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 8:33am

I come and go here, mainly because I don't really know how to find the time to date, but I still end up dating here and there! My main problem is that I have the kids (2 girls, ages 5 and 10) all the time--ex never takes them. I work full time and do not have any child support because ex does not work. SO when I date it is a logistical and expensive nightmare, and I want to make sure the guy is worth it...lol.

I have only had one serious relationship since the divorce that started off to fast and ended just as suddenly. We still hang out some as friends--I just see him as Major Red Flag for dating.I have dated here and there, but no one that has kept my interest until now, and reading loonybunny's posts, I think they must be cousins because he is slow, too!

I am just wondering if any of you are in the same boat. My kids do end up getting involved earlier than they would if I were in a different visitation situation, but I just try to keep it lighthearted and tell them they are friends. They have seen friends come and go so they are fine with it. Some of the guys I have hung out with really have been "just friends" so maybe that helps (just single dads looking for something to do with their kids). Of course the main problem is that they do get attached to any male figure. Anyone have any ideas?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 7:59am

Its sad to hear that comment but I know how you feel. Single parenthood is easier for me too than being married to my ex. He was never diagnosed with anything but I think he has something. He can barely take care of himself alone much less himself and 3 kids. I always felt like mine was a 4th kid I had to take care of. I got tired of taking care of 3 kids, myself and a 40 year old man. So I divorced him.

Its sad that so many of us are in this boat. These men produce these kids and then just split. If I was the kind of parent he is then my kids would be in foster care.

I am ranting now. Sorry.

I really thing a support system of women in similar situations is the best. This way they understand the predicament we are in.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 9:00am

I have my DS13 and DS12 full time.

 
Avatar for aimsicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 12:44pm

I have some child care for some of the time.

The problem right now is that I just swore off dating anyone in our single parents' group because of this complication, and what happens but someone way too cool to ignore shows up. We all get together with our kids all the time so that makes it hard to keep the kids completely out of my dating life since they know the guys there, and I am seeing one of the guys now. I mean, it is normal for them to see me hang out with a guy and his kids even if we are not dating. Does that make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 3:34pm

Welcome!

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 4:19pm
I feel your pain! I have mine 24/7 and absolutely NO network support group. HOWEVER, that being said, I haven't really made a huge effort to get one. I just feel weird asking.

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