Anyone known an a$#hole aquarian?
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| Tue, 05-15-2007 - 3:26am |
I am very pissed off and frustrated with an certain someone - aquarian male.
How do I say this...
Initially he did all the chasing and said all the "things I wanted him to say". I of course believed him, but still was questioning of different things like his intentions. I have 2 children and he is a successful 29 single male. I really don't think he really has a clue.
Anyway, we have had trouble seeing each other because he is sooo busy with work. But when we have we have had a great time. But over a week ago I finally had enough when he basically stood me up or didn't make it clear we wouldn't be catching up for the night as originally planned. I had dinner with my friends and we were going to message each other and catch up after. Then he just never messaged me or replied to my messages. I got so fed up with him that night as that was the second time it has happened that I sent him a text saying I don't like be told B/S.
So for a few days after that he didn't call. I tried calling his work. I could never get through and he was just avoiding me or "really, really busy" as he has said via a short email. I just wanted to know why I got stood up again.
So I gave him a couple more days to respond.. still nothing.
So I sent him an email telling him I don't appreciate not being told what is happening when I am led to believe I am seeing him. All I am asking for is for him to take 30 seconds or a minute to call me or text me to cancel or something. Am I asking for too much?
I told him I think he is just too busy for a woman.. and that I expecy common courtesy and respect and don't want to feel like a "once in awhile hookup" that can't speak to him the rest of the 3 weeks. I left him a few questions like "maybe this is just too hard?"
Anyway days later still no response, no nothing. What is wrong with him or men? Why are they so inconsiderate? Why do they rope you in only to leave you dry?
This just a vent..b/c I decided I have to move on! He is a waste of time and a user! I just hate that you think they are "nice guys" in the beginning!

Hi
I really understand your frustration, and think it is very disrespectful and inconsiderate of this man not to do what he says he is going to do. But, I do think that your chasing him with texts, phone calls and e-mails has probably put him off. Men don't like this kind of behaviour, and no matter how much we want and need explanations about their behaviour, we have to avoid coming over as desperate for answers. It only makes us look clingy and unattractive.
I am glad you have decided to move on. A man who is really into you will be doing all the chasing himself. Being "really really busy" is an excuse. Like you say, anyone who is really interested can easily find a couple of minutes in his day to make contact. He wasn't the right one for you, that's all.
One of the things that most of the women on this board agree on is the importance of letting the man do the calling, at least in the beginning, before you are an established, monogamous couple. Any man worth his salt will do this. Any man worth his salt won't make you feel like an occasional hook-up.
Better luck next time, and let them come running after you!!
Clem xx
I agree with what missclemmy says!!
Aquarians are not all that bad - at least for the girls - I am one and our other CL Alison is another!! LOL!!
Sorry you had to go through this kuelgirl - sounds like you deserve one better - and if you want one better and are willing to wait for him then you will surely find him.
Welcome to our board!
I've been ghosted on plenty of times (and I've been the ghost, too), so i know how frustrating it is to think you're making a connection, only to have the guy disappear.
Normally, I just chalk it up to a lesson learned, and that's that. I am non confrontational, so I don't typically ask my ghosts or demand answers. If they are too busy, not into me, or simply not wanting to date, there's nothing I can do to change that.
Knowing the whys of it isn't going to change the fact that he doesn't want to be with me. Instead of taking it personally, I simply move on. I know there's nothing wrong with me, I just wasn't right for that particular guy.
I'm in favor of regular contact, so if after a few days I haven't heard from someone, I assume that he's moved on. But that's just me.
Rant anytime you like, but also know that it wasn't you, and it isn't all men. You simply have to find the one that's right for you.
Moody, who typically dates older men for this reason
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THIS, is the most important and golden lesson about dating - and one that took me a lot of time to learn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Knowing the whys of it isn't going to change the fact that he doesn't want to be with me. Instead of taking it personally, I simply move on. I know there's nothing wrong with me, I just wasn't right for that particular guy."
No matter how much you plead, yell, get pissed off, or try to reason, there is no way you are going to change the guy's opinion of you or make him that into you. It is NOT about you - it is about the timing and how he feels about you.
You just have to keep on going and going until you find the one that is into you. And I think once you have this philosophy it really helps because then you are looking for the guy who is into you who you are mutually attracted instead of chasing guys all the time.
Hi Kuelgirl,
I agree with Judy, not all us Aquarian's are bad :)
That said, the downside of them is that they ARE dreamers and really want that fairytale- men and women alike.
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Thank you for all your replies...
Yes I know you are all right!
I know it is a complete turn off when a woman does all the messaging and calling. But we have been seeing each other for over 3 months and in fact only 3 days before this incident happened that pissed me off we had a really great time together. So I guess I feel like I am having a hard time reading the situation. He needs lots of space and I do give it to him. We don't talk for days at a time but maybe my patience ran out that weekend. I don't like being stuffed around.
Well I actually now regret sending him that email, since most of it wasn't completely true. Made me the total bitch and now I feel really bad. Whether we are finished or not I had no right to say some of the things I did.
Well, we live and learn! He is actually not as bad as I made out in my mind, but maybe just not for me or just not that into me. I am only 30 still and am quite attractive so I know I don't need to stoop so low to make myself look desperate. I have apologised to him but I also know that I need to get over him and just enjoy my new single life. Hey, I have freedom right? I really don't want a relationship right now anyway..so I should count myself lucky!
Thank you all! It is nice to have somewhere to vent and yet also get some advice when it comes to men! They are quite tricky to handle and I haven't had to deal with them like this for awhile...