Are there rules?
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Are there rules?
| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 12:07am |
Or like secret codes I should be aware of now that i'm entering this big scarey dating world?
Hi, I'm Joy and I'm new here.
| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 12:07am |
Or like secret codes I should be aware of now that i'm entering this big scarey dating world?
Hi, I'm Joy and I'm new here.
Yes, there's rules: don't invite them to your house!
LOL!
Some guys think that if you agree to a home visit- either yours or theirs- that they will get sex.
OMG Joy! I'm sorry to hear that about you and DH! I haven't been to your CFL board in a LOOOONG time (more like when it was still CP), but I do remember you and him having problems the last time I read anything. So I'm sorry you've divorced now. Just know that you DID give it your best and didn't just throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble. I hope things are going okay with you and the kids.
As far as the "rules" go... I don't know if there are any set rules really. Many of the things that could be rules- are variable depending on who you are and what you are wanting from dating. But the things Alison said regarding dating safety- those are definitely things to follow no matter WHO you are!
I think one of the biggest things about dating, is just being ready for it. Sometimes that is the hardest part, too. Making sure you know who YOU are, and what you will and won't put up with. And making sure you are secure in yourself and not dating out of desperation or fear of being alone. Make sure you know in your mind what it is you're looking for or expecting from dating. Is it just for fun, and to get out? Is it in the hopes of finding a new hubby? Is it for flings? Is it for finding some new friends?
And then you can be clearer with making sure you're not sending out the wrong messages as you're dating. I believe people can send out 'vibes' even when they might not be aware of it.
One of my main 'rules' is to go SLOW. Don't do anything you might regret the next day. If it's meant to be, it will still be there when the time is right. If the feelings are right, then going slow will only make it better, richer and deeper. If the feelings are wrong, then going slow will save you from making a huge mistake.
Anyway, I'm not sure if my advice is the clearest or the best, but I'm sure you will get more. And this board is full of wisdom!
~shrimpy (went by another screenname on your board, but maybe you recognize this one anyway)
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Alison- thse are GREAT rules!
Also, welcome, Joy!
I'm sure everyone will chime in, we've had a busy board lately, but we love having new people.
I would just add to what Alison's already posted that you should have FUN! Since you've never actually be an adult who dated, take this time to simply casually date more than one guy at a time, test them all out the way you'd try on several pairs of shoes before buying one (or in my case, three or four).
Enjoy yourself- and it IS possible to have fun while dating, so when it starts feeling like a full time job, simply give yourself a break from it for a while.
Please feel free to join in on our posts, we love having new people!
Moody, who broke most of the rules
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Welcome Joy!!!
We are a fun bunch here! Very different personalities, so you'll get many different answers. Rules? Yeah, I have a few! Want to hear them?
1. Don't take anyone's crap! That is definitely first and most important.
Just kidding. Sorta. Ok, not really!
WE all have certain 'expectations ' and 'guidelines' that we set up for ourselves. I have about 2 dozen of them.
Inviting the guy over is probably a red flag for more. I agree! I would never do that for at least the first dozen dates (but that's because I love the free dinners and extra-curricular activities i can't afford otherwise)(JUST KIDDING) (sorta...). But the rule for not having anyone over to my house is just because I don't want to be perceived as a booty call. That can be EASILY obtained when doing the online dating thing. Trust me! I am a serial dater....
I do think you should stick with us, we have helped many get through the first stages of the dating phase.
Welcome again!
Never EVER invite a guy to your house like that - from on line - not knowing him!!! Dangerous!
I havent read the other responses, but I am sure others will fill you in on the "rules"
I meant to tell you to go and read the book called, Mars and Venus on a Date. I think out of all the books I read, that one is the best.
Of course our board is a great way to learn too!!