arghh some one shake some sense into me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
arghh some one shake some sense into me!
4
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 11:47am
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 1:20pm

I for one look to avoid starting a relationship with someone who is just out of relationship for I’ll be the “practice” guy. How you described this guy, I would feel the same way, i.e. I’ll be the practice partner since he has not had the experience to be able to deal with differences that a relationship would inevitably would bring out. Of course even those of us with scars of past relationships may not be any good dealing with those differences either LOL.

I remember how you feel you need to “push” him to do something with his life. Some couples are great complements for each other where each person brings out the best of the other. You two may be one of those or you may be doomed to being frustrated with his lack of ambition (which is your perspective). I would pay attention to how you look at him and what words you use to describe him like “his life is stagnant” and “he lacks ambition.” You have said it’s changing so you two may be one of those couples where each enhances each other’s life.

Good for you for doing the work to write down on what's going on with you and processing it that way.

Mark

P.S. You are not going crazy.
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May your soul be at rest.


May your heart remain open.


May you realize your own true nature.


May you be healed.


May you be a source of healing for the world. - a zen prayer






iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 1:32pm

"Good for you for doing the work to write down on what's going on with you and processing it that way.


Mark


P.S. You are not going crazy."


Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 1:49pm

Good for you that you are recognizing where your "stuff" is coming from. I always say that first and foremost that in order for a relationship to be intimate that each of us need to be self aware.

Clarification: I was referring to your bf as someone who is "practicing" relationship with you. Since he has never been in a relationship then all this (with you) is new to him.

I actually have been there for I married the only woman I dated. I grew up with brothers so the only woman I knew was my Mother. Of course I married my Mother. I was "practicing" relationship with the only woman besides my Mother that I knew.

Just an observation on him, no judgment or conclusion.

Mark





May your soul be at rest.


May your heart remain open.


May you realize your own true nature.


May you be healed.


May you be a source of healing for the world. - a zen prayer






iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 2:03pm

Hi Mark,