ARRGGHH Gotta vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
ARRGGHH Gotta vent
8
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:06am

I just got back with the kids. The trip was uneventful, as far as the driving part went. In fact- it was such a no-brainer that I really don't even remember much of the driving. (which is scary, if you think about it, too- yikes) I think my mind was running on about a zillion other things and not really paying attention to everything I went past, y'know?? And because I've driven this route so many times before- I don't even pay attention to any of the city or exit signs. I just know where to go... like I said- on auto pilot.


Anyway, we had agreed to meet up halfway at 4 pm today. Which is a 4-hr drive for each of us, one way. Which meant we should both leave home at noon, right???


Well, there was some stuff going on with Hiker and so he couldn't make the trip with me, and at the last minute, I had to get ready to do the trip myself, in my car- which was no big deal- except that it meant packing along a few different things as if I went with him in HIS car, with him driving...

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 2:20am

So HARD to elicit sympathy or empathy for those whose values and perspective on things are sooooo different from our own huh? We each make our own choices and sometimes it is a challenge to see how the other person makes those choices that are such a detriment to themselves much less to others like their own children huh?

HUGGGGGS shrimpychimps,
Mark
---





May your soul be at rest.


May your heart remain open.


May you realize your own true nature.


May you be healed.


May you be a source of healing for the world. - a zen prayer






iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 6:10am

Aww Shrimps, my heart goes out to you. That totally stinks to have to wait so long for your exh and for him to be THAT late. He is so inconsiderate. And never mind that you had to wait in the cold and get home so so so late after an 8 hour drive by yourself. UGH. Not a favorite way to spend a day for sure.

I am sorry too that the boys came home in such poor condition - more work for you.

I bet they were all just out of sync somehow - it sounds like your exh and his NW are not at all experienced with kids or putting them on a routine and those two are not big enough to want to do that themselves. I guess one can only hope that they had so much fun they just forgot.

I would be mad, too, if I had to listen to him gripe about medical and dental bills for his own kids and then to see them come home in a condition like that.

I guess the positives to try to think about are that you don't have to do this real often (although that means you never get a break), they did get to see their dad one more Xmas when he has such a serious condition with the cancer, and that you are not married to THAT man anymore!!!!

Did they say they had fun? I bet you are all glad to be back together. We need to send you a mommy cup of hot tea and a helper to get that whole mess back in shape!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 8:45am

Sorry you had such a wait. How annoying. Yikes. I bet they had some major kid smell on them after four days..not to mention their breath. Eww!

But at least your little ones are back with you safe and sound and back on the road to good hygeine.

Sharon, who always takes a book with her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 9:22am

It seems he does this - a lot - so it's really

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 9:40am

I was wondering if Shrimps could manage it all a bit different next time. 1) Tell him you want to meet at 3, knowing it is probably going to be 4 or 5. Do not leave the house until he does. 3) Call to remind him around 10:00AM to say good morning - just checking in to see when you are leaving - call me when you leave the house so we can both leave at the same time. I guess that is called damage control!!

My exh is always late. So I tell him he has to be here an hour before he really does. And when it is really important I call to check in which is a nice way of reminding them to start collecting up their stuff and get ready to leave. The reality is that kids need time to transition and collect up their things and find their shoes.

One thing I have noticed - is that when a parent does not have the kids all the time, they are really out of sync with regards to what it takes to keep things moving and flowing along smoothly/efficiently and they are all more focused on having fun. For example, DS's dad lets him stay up late and sleep in and doesn't push a good breakfast - so then DS ends up eating junk food too late in the day. By the time he gets here he is hungry, tired, wired and often unbathed as well. But they had a good time and I have had a break so I let it go. I just put DS right back on our schedule. Good food, early to bed, early to rise - and all of us are wise ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 10:13am

Thanks guys! Thanks for letting me know that it ISN'T ME who is off the deep end here, by just expecting the simplest of things to be done!


Basic childcare... he never did that when we were married; why would I expect it to be any different now!?? He didn't do it when the kids were babies and

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 10:52am

I really like Judy's idea!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:15pm
Ewwww weeeeee!