Asking him out?
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Asking him out?
| Wed, 06-22-2005 - 7:22pm |
I am curious if anyone has asked a guy out?
I am interested in a guy and we have been flirting back and forth for a couple of weeks. Today I saw him and he called me "baby" which he has never done before. He works in the area I do and he makes it a point to wave at me and all of that. I just am worried I don't want to be turned down. Any suggestions on how to go about this?

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Since you said you work in the same area, then I would suggest that you ask him on a "non date" first- like meeting up for coffee at break time, or lunch during the week.
Keep it light, like you're really good pals, and don't go overboard with the flirting. You want to ensure he's interested before you throw out the idea that you're interested.
Good luck!
Alison
I might be inclined to be a little more creative with this. I would not ask him out on a date so to speak - but to think of a valid reason for him to do something with me. I am trying hard to think of an example but it is the end of a crazy day and my mind is blank.
Guys love to provide help and advice - try to be creative to just get time with him and talk to him. I always think it is best to go at their pace and not be too pushy. Let him make the effort. Are you sure he is available?
One more thought on this. I know I want a guy who is totally into me.
I think that if you wait and see if he is that interested in you that he will ask you out, it will be more worth it for you in the end.
Try backing off a bit with the flirting - just smile - and let him come to you.
Just my two cents worth.... I hope this helps - although it might not have been the advice you wanted to hear - but you are worth it - and the right one needs to see that and pursue you and want you.
I think the most frustrating thing about dating and relationships is that we really can only do NOTHING and wait for the right one to come along who is really into us.
The one time I ever got the nerve to ask a guy out it was a total disaster! He did go out with me, and paid for the date and everything...but he turned out to be such a jerk. I chalked it up to being a really bad judge of character on my behalf!
Other times I have made casual suggestions, like..."I'm dying to try that new restaurant..." or "Do you like coffee, I heard Starbucks has a new frappucino out." or even as bold as "maybe we should try that sometime..." etc. But I have not actually asked if they'll go out with me.
There are alot of ways of letting a guy know you want to go out with him but letting him do the actual asking...
good luck!
I'm kind of in the same position, myself, sort of. I think this guy that works at my local Wal-Mart electronics section is cute & seems to be really nice. He's always very helpful. I'm interested in him. Not sure if he's interested in me at all because we don't know each other on any level; only just the fact that he's helped me in electronics before. My sister works at Wal-mart as well, so she talks to him sometimes, but, I don't want her to ask for me because that seems too High School, ya know? I know he would never ask me out because he's the shy, nerdy type (which is not appealing to a lot of people, but just happens to be right up my alley :))
So how would one approach that situation, given that we are not around each other that often? I mean how could I work that into conversation? I'm tempted just to go out there & say, "Hey, I heard you were bored & would like to go out sometime. Would you like to go out & do something with ME sometime?" How would that sound? And yes, like Andrea, I am in fear of rejection. Aren't we all? I just wish I could get over that because I think I will regret if I don't at least try. Any advice would be appreciated.
I completely agree with this. I am shy and I don't know how to approach him.
With your situation I would plan a night out with your sister and some of her co-workers and invited him that why you will be a freindly environment and see how it goes.
For my "guy" we have talked a few times (he makes deliveries to me office). He is completely not the guy I would usually go for but I have this attraction to him. I think he would be so much fun to go out with. I have a couple issues though
a. Don't know if he is available. I know he has kids and he does not have a ring on but that doesn't reaaly mean anything these days. How do I ask that and not be completely obvious?
b. I am reaaly shy and scared the last guy I asked out I married and that was a disaster.
c. what if he turns me down?
HELP.... Becky
This one is a bit more complicated because the two of you have an employee/customer relationship. That could be another reason why he wouldn't ask you out if the only time he ever sees you is in that capacity. If it were me, I would use your sister as a "wingman" in this case. Don't have her ask him out for you, just have her drop some clues that you are interested.
This happened to me once. A co-worker of mine asked me what I thought of someone. I told him I thought he was a nice guy, but didn't really know anything about him, and he responded that he had a crush on me and was too shy to ask me out. You're right, it is kind of highschool, but if he's really the shy type this atleast gives him the go ahead to ask you. I wouldn't ask him out. I've been on that side of the coin too, being asked out by a customer puts an employee in a really awkward spot.
Good luck!
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EXACTLY, what happens if he turns you down? Just because one person (or 10 for that matter) doesnt want to go out with you doesn't in any way, diminish what you have to offer. More guys WISH TO GOD more women would ask them out. Even if they aren't interested, you could still make a great friend simply for being so fearless. And what heppens when you have guy friends . . . they have scores of other possibilities.
Dating these days is complicated. Women don't wear their ring in the gym and you spend 2 weeks having them give you the look, only to see them walking in with a ring on as you are leaving one day. So are they separated, divorced (but like the hardware), married . . . Life would be better if you just told guys how you felt. Time is too short to play games these days.
Sure, you can sit back and let the guy come to you, but while you are sitting back, he's going through a mental file in his mind of all of the OTHER possibilities in his immediate scope. Unlike women, if you don't make a move, we take that as a lack of interest; we don't sit around and think about you all day. You are just one person "on the list." Now, if you differentiate yourself in some way, that's a different story.
So I'm telling all the single women on this board this: If you see something you like, do some research and go for it. But do your research and make sure he isn't a loser with no job or a total moron with no depth. you can find this out by asking his friends or coworkers and there are services that will run background checks on people. Take conrtol of your life, FIGURE OUT A WAY TO ASK.
Be bold, but still be in control. Both of these approaches will work, trust me.
1) Just hand the guy your number without saying a word and write on there "call me sometime if you meet the following criteria: you are single, a gentleman, interested"
If he's not all of those, he won't call. If he is, it will be A GIFT FROM GOD.
2) Next time you see him say, "Are you married? Girlfriend? Well, I would like to give you the opportunity to take me out some time and pay for it. Can you get back with me on that?"
Another GIFT FROM GOD. This shows confidence and it also shows that you are in control and expect him to be a gentleman. (I could give you 100 more . . . )
It's easy, girls. JUST DO IT. Games were cool and all when were all only on the market until 22, and the person we married we were with for life. Make the first move -- we're not getting any younger.
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