Averey talked to TAZ today .......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Averey talked to TAZ today .......
11
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 8:01pm



(where's the VOMIT icon?)


... after 11 calls b/w Xmas eve & Xmas day trying to get me to let her see him, he hasnt called her since. She e'd him 2 days ago, asking if he liked his gifts (given to his brother to give him) & no response. So she called him today. As usual, his 1st ?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 8:24pm
ugh, that whole situation sucks. I hope he straightens up soon for both you and Averey's sake.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 8:29am
Rlch,I really think you should discuss this conversation with the psychologist and ask for his advice on how you should handle it in the future and especially for the sake of DD. I would be inclined to have one of you hang up as soon as he says something inappropriate and maybe to be armed with what to say to him before he calls - like to try to keep the conversation about her school. I think you need to have some really good strategies in place so that this has less impact on DD - and the psychologist would be good at that - plus telling him about this helps document more things against him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 10:39am

The vomit icon is a good idea, it would definitely suit this post. It's sickening that every time that baby makes an effort to talk to him he gets her upset because of the crap that seems to spew from his mouth. He keeps on, she won't even want to call him anymore and it won't be because someone is not allowing her to do so. It will be her decision not to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 2:21pm

Honestly, I'm wondering WHY the psych ok'd the phone calls from/ to your ex.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 2:30pm

Yes Al,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 2:43pm

That's the thing: he KNOWS how to manipulate you and make statements that you will take to heart and allow him to continue his game.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 2:44pm

I think the thing that is hard is to imagine life without her because you are so well and you cherish her and children so much. But he is not that way - he is sick and cannot get past his anger to put her first and what he does/says is horrifying.

"put them into a box for when he's better" - I thought Alison had an excellent idea there.

I think I would talk to the psych to document this and then disappear from all contact from him for a long time and I would NOT let her contact him anymore no matter what. At least until he has done more to get himself on track. It could take decades - I don't think that is going to happen even this year - because he has been on a steady decline for a number of years and seems to be really mentally ill now - I mean this is not a simple mistake or faux paus - it is a really twisted state of mind and unstable.

I know we asked you before, but what can you do to acquire sole legal custody so he cannot come back to haunt you? I wonder if the psych can help you get this quickly and easily?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 2:58pm

Judy brings up a good question, what can be done to acquire sole legal custody?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 3:06pm

As a matter of fact, heres a perfect example of his "thought process".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 4:17pm

""prove to the courts" that he is an absent father"


I don't think that you need to prove he's absent, more that he's incapable of making sound decisions regarding her well being and therefore should not be involved in that.


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