AW! COME ON! HE MUST BE JOKING?..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
AW! COME ON! HE MUST BE JOKING?..
8
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 4:37pm
Guess who called me? None other then Alex's father again. Out of the Blue. The last time was 2 yrs ago to tell me he loved me. What is it NOW!!!!?
Sorry, I asked!
He told me he is flying down to Texas because he HAS to see me and we HAVE to talk about a LOT OF THINGS! What could that mean? Everytime he says that it gets wierd. He usually asks to marry me. Wait! No, the five years aren't up yet. We are only almost 2 yrs since he asked me last and it's always every 5 yrs. So I actually have another 3 to go. He isn't getting married is he? But he said he was really unhappy with his life, so he can't be unhappy if he's getting married, right?
The last time he said he wanted to see me a year and a half ago I broke out in Hives. Remember? I was so stressed after we had broken up, but I was supposed to see his mother and then when he said he would be their, I had those awful hives around my hips. Can't remember what it's called in English, but really AWFUL and dangerous to get. So I couldn't make my flight. It cancelled. Why is he doing this to me? Why can't he tell me over the phone? Ok, what could be sooo IMPORTANT that he has to see me in person?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 7:34pm

Hmmm..... this is the Navy SEAL? Correct?

I have mixed emotions on this one. I am not sure what to tell you. Go with your gut instinct. See if you can talk to him more now. Are you going to Texas or North Carolina on this trip?

Tell us more.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 7:42am

I am going to NC and Texas. Their isn't really much to tell. I told Alex this morning and she said "I hope he isn't asking you to marry him again". I always think that is sooo funny that his own daughter doesn't want me to marry him. You would think that she would be thrilled. Instead she said, "We'll all just be miserable with the way you two fight."

Truth out of the mouth of babes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 12:45pm

I would be tempted to pass on the talk or to demand that he tells you now over the phone. You are busy and have a lot of stress and don't want surprises or something to worry about. Be up front and be firm.

You really need this vacation and don't need the aggravation he has presented in the past. But it is your call. Just make sure you put yourself first. I know you will, you have been on a roll lately.

Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 6:42pm

Cat,

Do you mind if I ask for just a little backround info on Alex's father? I don't know the story.

Amy

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 4:53am
It's to long of a storey to tell, but basically it's been a 18yr battle with this man. We both love each other, but can't live with each other. Every 5 yrs he comes around to ask if I will marry him and everytime I'm not ready. Last time was 2yrs ago and I actually was considering it, but then he backed out again, so we haven't moved forward and I decided to just forget it all. Now, 2 yrs later, he's calling me again to want to talk. ABOUT WHAT? ARGH! It's a love/hate relationship that we have. I do love him, but I feel it's become more brotherly. Basically when we were children it was that way. It just developed into something more, but from my side it's gotten back to that mode again. Maybe I am just freaking and it's nothing. Hopefully he's finally getting married and wants to tell me in person. I would be really happy if that is what it was. At least I think I would be. I know I am ready to meet someone again and get married one day, so I guess I wouldn't mind if the 18yrs of back and forth finally ended, but not with each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 9:39am

18 years of back and forth love and hate and whirwind proposals with a Navy Seal? I'm sorry Cat, I dont mean to be insensitive. I realize that this has not been a good thing for you, but the way it's playing itself out in my head, I think I need cold shower.

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 11:09am

I think you're right Cat. And I don't think it's you that hasn't been ready (as he showed when he back out last time)...he's not ready for a full commitment. I think he's just hoping you will take less, don't you? I'm glad you value yourself more than that.


Why can't he tell you over the phone? Sounds like he's being kind of dramatic.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 11:18am
NO joke Candi! The guy is just being overly dramatic. What's new? I need to try to reach his mom and find out what the heck is going on. She wasn't home last weekend. I wouldn't care if he comes or goes, but staying at her house, means I will under the same roof as him!
I've let go. I noticed when we talked, I basically hung up on him and I sounded so "WHO CARES!". He is over 30 now and he can't change. He should try to be a father instead of trying to mess with my head. I am actually pretty calm about it all, but I would like to know why he feels he has to try and ruin my vacation. I wanted to get away from everything, not from one drama into another. Trying not to analyse, trying not to analyse, trying not to analyse. LOL ;)