az_tbone please read
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az_tbone please read
| Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:26pm |
I was reading your post about the one week till you see her. Would you mind reading my post about what I learned on the man site and giving me some input? Thanks!

Dang!
Someone pinging *me* for advice on the male dating psyche? That's DR. az_tbone!
First, thanks for stroking my ego. Big points to you!
Ok...and this is why I stay OFF of men boards. I've never found one that was really a support group. It is usually either a 1) gripe spot for men to put down women, 2) a tally sheet for men to talk about their latest conquest, 3) a place to trade sex pointers. That's why I stay here....it's also why I have almost NO male friends....can't stand them...if I *were* a woman, I'd probably be a lesbian to avoid men!
So...on you your "problem".
Yes you two have been trading e-mails and IM's but your surprised that nothing is happening...there are three possible reasons for this...
1) He's not made the connection that YOU are interested in him, so it's not in his thought process yet when he thinks about you or talks to you.
2) He has made the connection and is not interested.
3) He has hasn't made the connection, but he is interested, but he also has the fear of rejection thing.
You have to remember that e-mail and IM is a relatively void of emotion compared to the phone. Have you talked to him yet? When I'm talking to P, I know exactly how she is feeling and her mindset....I don't have as much info on that when I IM or e-mail her
As for the men's board....what a bunch of jerks.
I do agree that your "rule" is a little out of date....but it's your rule.
I think that if you are interested, you need to talk to him at least by voice.
I have a whole big dissertation on this from a book....that I can't remember the title of.
Maybe I'll write it up and post it....it might help you women figure out us stupid men.
Now, where *IS* that trombone....gotta get my lips in shape for next weekend!
Brian
Anyway, we exchanged numbers during our email conversations but we haven't spoken on the phone. In our IM conversations we talked about the past, and I actually came out and said that I chose poorly. He chocked it up to being young. Then we joked about it a bit. I sent him a college photo I had of him, and he sent me a recent photo of himself, so I sent a recent photo of me. We exchanged compliments. We shared info about his engagement gone wrong and my divorce. Every conversation ends with "take care".
I feel like a school girl....you know....where your world seems to revolve around waiting for the next email or IM. How pathetic is that? I guess I am afraid to ask him out because my own father told me a million times, if a guy wants you, he will let you know. And my dad's words have proven true so many times.
WADR to your Father. BS! I have NEVER, EVER "loved the chase". I despise "the chase". I grow tired of trying to read body language, catching subtle hints and all the other nonsense that some women go through to tell me they are interested.
If anything, I thing women love the chase, it's a game to them.
I'm never "confused" when a woman asks me out.
This is strictly and old vs. new argument, IMO.
Ultimately, you have to do what YOU feel comfortable with. With the understanding that you don't have the right to be disappointed with anyone but yourself if you don't get what you want.
This applies to anything with stygmatic rulesets.