Baby Mama Drama

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Baby Mama Drama
15
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 10:02am

So, I'm really starting to like Irish. He's very attentive, and turning into a good friend so far.. but not in friend zone. We still have not kissed, but there's a tension there, and its very out in the open that we both like eachother.. lots and lots of flirting.


Anyway, I've never gone out with anyone with SO MUCH baby mama drama!!! Like not even close! Is this a deal breaker for some of you guys? As of right now she's just obsessed with getting him back it seems and he feels like she needs to get whatever it is she's got going on "out of her system" so he tolerates it all but then calls me fuming over it all. Two nights in a row she's thrown herself at him. I'm not jealous, I don't think he's going to say hey M, I'm going back to my ex is it was great have a nice life. I worry that I'm going to fall for this guy and just have this constant drama in one way or another. I told him last night.. THIS IS WHY I DON'T DATE MEN WHO HAVE NOT BEEN SINGLE FOR AT LEAST ONE YEAR!! Remember, he didn't tell me until our date was already planned and I kinda sighed and explained to him my rule and why. He did apologize after I said that.


It hasn't been that long since they split, I mean.. should I just cut them both some slack? I kinda like the path he and I are taking right now. And ya know what? I would have never gotten past date #1 if I were still smoking. So I'm really proud of myself and keep thinking wow.. just think of all the men I've been losing because of smoking!! LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 8:29am
There are guys out there that just like the drama!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 11:54am

OMG that is a constant joke for me. If a man tells me about a crazy ex, or a crazy woman he knows, or a crazy OLD date he had my response is always... She'll be married within a year, the psychos always are while us normal girls sit here forever single lol.


Ok so updated info on Irish and his baby mama drama. I found out a lot more last night.


At first my jaw kinda dropped when he told me all of this, but on the other hand I think he's kind of smart in how he has her set up where she would lose a lot if she tried to come after him for more. Also we didn't go really heavy into our ex's.. we still keep that convo kinda brief.


Anyway... he moved her out of his house (she never married him, she refused after 15 years.. long story), bought her a condo, bought her a car, and gives her a small amount of money every month. So, kinda holds that over her if she ever have thoughts of taking him to court for more.


Also, he has kept logs of stolen money, he took pictures of every time she clawed him, or bruised him, he kept a journal too. And all of this since 2001!! So while I think he's trying to do the right thing by taking care of "his baby mama" he kind of has her in her place.


HOWEVER.. if he and I were to get serious then the trips to his parents, and the unscheduled visits here and there just have to stop. I'm going to be making slight hints here and there about how they need to be on a schedule. And thats not for me, thats for his own sanity.


The jury is still out on if he's a "jump" when the ex calls type of guy or not. I know his phone rings constantly when we're together and he ignores it, and eventually turns it off.. so thats a good sign.


He asked me last night if I felt that I could handle the drama. I said honestly, I could not handle anything ever happening around my children. That would crush me if some baby mama started showing herself in front of my children.. UGG!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 1:00pm

This is just me because it's happened before with me..


There is enough going on when you're in a relationship even when there is no ex-drama.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 1:40pm

Ok Michele.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 2:51pm

Yah, my guard is up for sure. He actually is seriously thinking about doing something. He has a lot of concern regarding their environment growing up.. so the thought is in his mind. Its just so damn soon! I'm with ya though, its concerning all of it.. and I'm just not sure how far I can go with this even though I really do like the guy.


Now, this is all new still too.. and I'm just getting bits and pieces because neither of us wants to dump drama on the other one. So I don't feel like I"m really in a position to make a decision or not either. Nor am I in a position to give to much advice. I have apologized to him in advance if I overstep my boundaries with opinions or advice because this is all very new to me.

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