Back to the drawing board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Back to the drawing board
2
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 11:10am

Hi Everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend! My weekend was interesting to say the least.

I ended up breaking up with K on Sunday. Things just went horribly wrong between us this weekend. After our whole drama during the week with him pulling away but yet still telling me he loved me, we decided to give things another try on Thursday...my only thought through all of this was that things shouldn't be this difficult after only dating for 2 months. We shouldn't have to work so hard to keep it together, but I decided to give it one more go.

Well, we were originally supposed to get together on Friday night, but I hadn't heard from him by 6:00 on Friday night, so I decided to have a girls night out which was long overdue. I called to tell him and he absolutely freaked out on me...I mean screaming at the top of his lungs at me that I should want to be with him and how dare I choose my friends over him. When I tried to calm him down, he only got more upset, so I told him when he was ready to talk to my like a civil human being to give me a call and I hung up on him and went on to have a great time with my friends.

K called me all night while I was out on Friday to make sure I wasn't hooking up with anyone, which I wasn't...but that got annoying after a while. Then he called me on Saturday and apologized and we ended up spending the night just hanging out and watching movies...but I could tell that my feelings for him at that point were pretty much gone. He could tell I was pulling away and questioned me on it, but I guess I wasn't ready to tell him yet and wanted to sleep on it.

Sunday when he called he kept telling me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me, and as I listened to him, I knew that I didn't return any of those feelings anymore and I needed to tell him. I told him that I really cared about him, but I didn't think we should be fighting like this and trying so hard to make it work so soon in the relationship. All he could do was keep telling me that he loved me and we shouldn't throw it all away because we had one bad week...

Then out of nowhere he does a complete turn around and starts blaming me for everything and how I MADE him behave this way and that I caused all of our problems. At that point, I'd had it and told him that if I'm that evil and I have the power to cause his bad behavior that he shouldn't be with me...after a few more minutes of him yelling at me, I politely wished him good luck and said goodbye.

So, now I'm back to the drawing board. I'm so sick of this whole dating game though I have to say. Why is it so hard to find a guy you can just have a good time with and let things develop naturally? Where are the good ones??

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 12:14pm
I am sending you magic dust so that you may find a good one. I had the exact same issue happen to me on the last guy I dated. We only dated two month, everything was fine and then suddenly, he got serious about us and I wasn't ready and he blew up on me and after a week everything fell apart, because he said I was the blame for it all. Really odd. It was great and then suddenly NOTHING. Done, poof, over and as he started behaving like a child, I realized that I didn't want to have that sort of drama only after two months. I was so relieved afterwards. You may just not be ready. No one should have drama starting 2-3 months in a relationship. Once it starts, you have to ask yourself, what will it be like later.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 6:01pm

You made so many good judgements. I don't think you will have trouble finding the right one - and that is certainly going to come a lot sooner now that you are not wasting time with this insecure dodo.

- promising a house after 2 months
- then spooking that he did that
- not calling by 6
- freaking for a girls night out when you decide not to wait by the phone
- calling you all night
- causing more drama and turning it around afterwards

Dear heavens, if you gave him MORE time what else would he do? Glad you did NOT give him any more time. This precious pumpkin is just too unstable.

And no, it should NOT be such a pain after just 2 months.

NEXT is right! Good going! The girls are cheering for you!!