Back from psyc appt ... So sad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Back from psyc appt ... So sad.
17
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 10:20am

I *know* i should be "jumping for joy" ... saying "I told you so", etc, but -- i just cant feel "joyful", b/c everyone loses in a way.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 10:59am

Oh Rebecca (((((((HUGS)))))))


I know this will be really hard on Averey, but it is for her protection- and THAT is what ALL of this has been for!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 11:01am

Oh wow, Rebecca.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 11:03am
Wow girl that is heavy.
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 12:06pm

I know this is a hard time, but I think this is the answer you have needed. I would explain to Avery that this is a time your dad needs alone to figure out his life and get well. That you know if he was well he would be a better person but only he can figure that out.

Thank God you have answers and a general path of direction for what to do with this now. I am so glad you saw the psych on your own and that you will follow his advice.

I think initially you should be prepared for a huge backlash from exh/Taz but you must weather the storm and do nothing to talk to him in return except let the psych/attorney/courts deal with it. I thin in time he will realize his loss and perhaps maybe do something - or maybe not. I think the important thing for you to realize is that there is nothing you can say or do right now to hasten that process and that you do not need to defend yourself further. I urge you not to respond to anything from him lest you fuel a very bad fire.

I agree with Alison that a vacation is needed when this is delivered so you stay safe. And a restraining order for sure. I would also be careful about her whereabouts and the people involved in her care when you are not there. Do NOT underestimate what he can do.

Stay safe.

Perhaps you can replace him with more visits to grandpa, a favorite uncle or other male friend for the time being so she is getting a little something.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 12:08pm

Hugs to you Rebecca.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 12:14pm

Mark makes a huge point. Sure, Ave will not get to see her dad, but she will not have the ever-so-negative mental impression of a very harmful male role model.

I think you should continue to see the psych for how to deal with Avery after this new rule.

I think it is so great if you can get sole legal custody. I think you should push for that no matter the cost financially. And perhaps with the psych this will be easier and cheaper than you think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 1:17pm

I have been following your situation and my heart goes out to you and Avery.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 3:58pm

I was thinking about this further today, and I think you should go ahead and file for the RO anyway.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 6:13pm
(((Hugs))) Rebecca,
I know how hard this must be and I understand how you can know in your head it is the right thing yet still pine for what should be. It takes quite a while to be able to step back and see your X objectively, see that this type of mental illness is very damaging to everyone around him and also vey unlikely to improve. I also agree with Alison. My X is not as bad as yours although his issues are very similar and his mental pathology is a personality disorder. But under these circumstances, being denied visitation and having it come from a mental health professional- mine would be very dangerous. RO ASAP and stay somewhere he can't find you. These guys tend to peak in their nuttiness after about 24-48 hours it seems, then they settle a little and get a bit more rational.
QueenBun, got a guest room you and Ave can use in AZ
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 7:31pm

Rebecca-

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

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