BE update

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
BE update
15
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 1:57pm

OK, Rose-specs, you got it!


For those of you who might not know, BE stands for Blue Eyes. Everyone (at least the women) who have met him always say the same thing....He has the prettiest blue eyes! So true! I love those eyes because they are not only the prettiest blue, but they are kind eyes, bright, and deep and they seem to say things even when he is quiet. I love looking into them :o)


So we are doing really well. Ever since BroomHilda was told to stop calling, she hasn't called. I felt relief almost right away after he told her, for good, to stop, a couple months ago. Its so strange but true- it had been the unspoken element of her presence (even though they were only talking on the phone) that was ruining us. I hated it, and that has been gone for a couple months. The after effect is that there is a comfortable sense of calm between us now. It feels easy and secure, the way I always wanted it to.


His drama daughter has also stopped coming into the picture. Now she seems fine (I hope for good- but at least she is stable for now). I think that when Broom Hilda used to call BE, she would stir up drama and worry about BEs daughter in conversation to him, and get him sucked into the dysfunctional loop back then. Stuff he did not need to be involved in, stuff she would make out to be much bigger than it really was. It think she did it because it was her one sure fire

~Pacific~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 2:18pm

but I'm settling into trust mode and feeling safe right now. And that is good!


Yes, my dear friend, that IS good!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 2:35pm

That's true about him being my rock this week. I love how that feels...having someone to "be there" solidly when yo need them and knowing they are there willingly.

~Pacific~
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 2:39pm

Wow.. who could have predicted? I think what really turned things around is how YOU handled yourself and the relationship Pac. I really believe that the way you held onto yourself and focused on you and your life helped a lot in co-creating this better relationship with BE. I also believed how you stood up for yourself and set boundaries contributed to this as well.

Keep on, keeping on!
Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 2:48pm

Hey thanks, Mark. I think so too, taking that time to find my own interests, step away for a while and fulfil myself inside, I stopped needing him so much and now

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 2:56pm

I have to agree with Mark.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 3:04pm
That is excellant dear!!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 3:12pm

I can just SEE it! Your Quacking back, ROFL!!!


I love your duck stories! I've always had a soft heart for ducks so your stories always make me smile!!


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 3:19pm

Thanks...It HAS been rough before, but I'm kinda stubborn about things and I don't give up too easily, some would say I even work on things too long. But in our case I'm happy because no matter what the future brings, we have grown to really know and respect each other. Thanks for the cheers, L!!


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 3:27pm

Yay for you, Pacs!!!!! You DO sound very grounded and at peace now- and it's all within YOU, not because of what BE is doing. Though you've seen his actions change as well- as a result of your actions. He doesn't have to be defensive... and now he's moved on to where he isn't harboring anything TO be defensive ABOUT, either! So it's all good!


Did you see my post to you about your non-job down below? I hope you're doing okay with that as well. I know bigger and better (and more perfect-for-you) things will come your way soon!

~shrimpy


It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 3:40pm

Pac-Sun


What a wonderful update!

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