Been busy :( sorry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Been busy :( sorry
2
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 9:20pm
I am sorry that I have been gone - i have been working FT again (freelance but liking it and I think it could become a steady freelance kinda thing maybe) and I have been so busy and tired. Jack and I finally committed - to taking that "break" we needed. Actually this time we didn't say "break. We broke up. That is that. But I feel he will be back. But if not I suppose I will deal. I mean, yes it was wonderful - even the breaking up part! And yes it was some time invested (1.5 years) but I can't take the confusion (fear) and neither could he. Alyse is 3 now - she KNOWS - and this is tough. If he decides he does love us - and truly believe he does - and he wants to be married then things will trun out ok with US. If not then they must turn out ok with me.

OH well. As long as I have Alyse and we are both healthy I have all I need right?

This still really hurts. But if he come back THIS time it will be done - no more emotional rollarcoaster. It is time to decide. I just hope he decides us.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 7:21am
Hi Laura,

Glad to hear your update - although I know it is not what you wanted to hear now. You sound so strong and so on track that I have nothing more to say.

Hugs to you and Alyse. You deserve all the best and are totally right to hold out for it. I know you will have good things.

And yes, as long as you have Alyse and yourself in good health then you have EVERYTHING.

I still have to get you that list of art. Sorry to have taken to long - but we have had 2 hurricanes here in 2 weeks and are upside down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 10:43am
No problem! I figured you were going nuts and now here come Ivan. Hope that you are doing OK - I have been thinking of you.

On a positive note I have been freelancing FT for the past 2.5 weeks so when i get that paycheck i will be caught up at least - maybe back on track totally. My parents have been paying my morgage which is great but I hate getting help from them. Basically I don't want to use any public assistance programs because I still want to get my ex's rights terminated and that wouldn't look good for me if I use public assistance. But soon things will start rolling in more steady - I feel it! Actually this job is a BIG break and if they like me it is the best thing that could have happened. They use a lot of freelance often and tend to remain loyal to certain people. In fact they share office space with several one-man companies (like mine) that they use all the time too. So this is ALL good :) Although working FT on-site is kind of cruddy as I miss my baby girl.

She turned 3 on Thursday - we had a party for her on Monday and it was great (of course that is the day I made the comment to Jack that started this boulder rolling - oh well)

Things will work out. My mother thinks he isn't the "marrying type" but I think that isn't right. She has her ideas about him but honestly she doesn't REALLY know him. I have some faith and I know eventually it will go 1 of two ways - either he will come back ready and willing or eventually we will be able to just be friends (I think harder for him seeing even when we were breaking up he couldn't keep his hands off me - so nice to know I turn him on THAT much LOL)

As far as him going away forever - won't happen. I KNOW that for sure.

Well - I hope that Ivan doesn't cause too much trouble for you. My parents place in Clearwater has made it through so far - they are up here right now though so they feel lucky not to be down there. Whenever you are ready for those just let me know - I am just glad that you were happy with what I sent and will want to use me - feel free to tell everyone you know about it ;) LOL

Take care!

Laura