Been forever!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Been forever!
2
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 9:03pm

I'm sorry. I have a new job as of a month ago and I've been busy there. iVillage is banned on our web access so I have literally no time to post. Shane and I are getting divorced. I issued an ultimatum of counseling or it's over. I was tired of waiting. Done. We will be doing paperwork soon. We are friends. It's okay. I almost moved back home but after getting my son back Wednesday, I talked to my son and he really wants to stay with his friends here. I think that was very adult of him to say what he wanted since he's so normally asking me what I want. Anyway, he recognized that he could have both if he stayed here....family in Marshall and friends here. Sweet kid. I am going to go to a classroom environment as of Fall. Shane will watch the kids 2 nights a week so I can. Just a couple hours. And as for visitation, well that is still drama, but I printed up a calendar of dates he needs to take his visits. I am going out with friends more now and need ME time just as he does. We both deserve that. I will say that on the 21st of this month, I will go on a very casual no worries date. A friend from high school that I recently got back in touch with has asked me out to drink some beers and hang out together. We talk and text all the time and he's such a sweetheart and we get along great. I figured it was harmless to hang with him sometimes. He is aware of my situation and knows where I stand. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's HOT! Anyway, I imagine this will cause a big stir on here, but I am not about getting attached. Just casual outtings to make me feel good about myself. I get hit on a lot. But I am very "whatever" about it.

Oh well, I should go. I am about to go back and touch up some paint in my bedroom. I am redoing all the house. Making it my own. It's gonna be gorgeous!

~Mel~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: lissa91
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 10:09am

Hi Mel,

Thanks for the update. How is the new job going? Sorry to hear that you had to decide for a divorce in the end because I know you wanted things to work and for Shane to be a good hubby - but I think you know now that it is for your best interest to be finished because you can't be the only one pulling the relationship - it takes 2 - that is what stinks for everyone who is or who has been in that boat because if you could pull it by yourself and make it work surely you would. I have been there so I do understand.

I do hope you will give yourself time to get strong on your own now. It is so great that you will make your house YOUR home. And good that you have a new job. You have a clean slate now so to speak so you have to make the most of it. When I think back on my 6 years alone, I realize that even though I was lonely some of the time, I have accomplished a LOT with my business, my relationship with my DS and friends and my house and my sport. I am a whole new person with a lot to offer and a lot of confidence. It will take me much further than if I just started settling for someone right after my divorce.

But whatever you decide we are always here for you and always enjoy updates and stories. Keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 11:06pm
It's just awesome to be on here after so long and still have the support of you ladies. I am really settling in now on my own. The house is looking great and I just take care of me and my kiddos. I was planning to move back home but I realized that I have friends here and I need to stick things out. I have a gorgeous home with plenty of room instead of cramming into my parent's house for several weeks/months. Plus finding a new job. The job is fine. It was rough at first and I second guessed it but it was mostly some shady girl there who obviously dislikes me for no reason. I just ignore her because she is not worth the frustration. I like my life now. I have gotten back in touch with so may people lately and I am making more friends. It's amazing how being single opens so many doors for friendship. The hardest part is the lonely nights but I'll groove into it. Like I said, I do have that date in 2 weeks, but once again, it is no big deal. We're friends. I doubt anything like hand holding or kissing will happen. But I might kiss him....LOL! I have no expectations and he knows that. We all support one another in our group and we all love one another so much so these little outtings mean more to us as pals than anything. I'm anxious to get away to my hometown again for a visit. I plan to do that every 2-3 weeks for a weekend so I can see people. I can do that now that I am unattached.

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