On being replaced by a EX

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
On being replaced by a EX
14
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 10:07am

Hi all, Something strange happened. If I was not able to get over my EX completely ..Now I Can.


I just learnt that he committed himself to a girl whom he just met 1 month ago online.. and I spent more than 10 yrs with this guy trying to help him in many ways including building his career. I knew he was kind of selfish and didnt care even about his siblings.. But I thought he would take care of "us" once he is all settled. Even when we separated he wouldnt let go of me.. for years.. untill now suddenly he is in a new job and he has more time and he met someone online.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 3:11pm

I wish I could be more help, Dance. That sounds strange to me, that an Ex like you have described yours would commit in a month. There is no way a person can know enough about another to make a big committment in that time. What does he mean by commit?...marriage, or engagement?


It's strange about Exs and I am sort of in a boat that's different. In my case both my husband of 12 years and the long term boyfriend I had before my husband both told me if things don't work out with us their done with women. The long term bf not only stopped dating after me but I have strong suspicion he is now gay. My Exh has barely stepped out of his house except to pick up DD and to go to his classes, and work. I RUIN men, lol.


In your Ex's case I can only speculate as to what's going on. He is either exaggerating his committment OR he has been swept up by that infatuation syndrom that

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 4:50pm

I think that since he is your ex you should not concern yourself with anything he does that does not pertain to your child. You can always ask why - and he can give an answer but there would be more questions.

The important thing is that you are happy with you! :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2007
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 11:38am




So so similar...I have tried everything in the world to get over my ex in which it was the one year anniversary of

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 11:49am

August!!!!!! What in the world are you doing to yourself?!?! STOP SEEING HIM!!!


You deserve WAAAY more than the leftovers of an ex (who became an EX for a reason). Don't keep opening that door. Slam it shut, and NAIL it shut!


Why are you willing to do this to yourself??


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2007
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 8:11pm
I know shrimpy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 8:42pm

I agree with Shrimps that you must have NO contact. I think there are some people or ex's we will always have a fascination for - but they are an ex for a reason. NO CONTACT is the only thing that can make you get over them. As each day passes you will think of him a little less and pretty soon you will be over him. But any contact starts the process all over again so you really have to try to avoid that.

He is like an old car in your heart's parking spot. You are not going to get a new one until you let him drive off and you make the spot empty. There is only room for one you see.

So time for him to depart! Bon Voyage!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 9:03pm

I hear you, August. I totally understand that it would feel good knowing that you could still have a pull on him. It must feel good knowing that you have enough pull to distract him from HER. When you say it that way, it makes alot of sense.


But... (you guys who know me, knew that 'but' had to be coming)


By getting that "thrill" out of being able to yank his chain, and by getting satisfaction at knowing you are doing to HER what she did to you... you are also hanging onto the anger and hurt that they've caused you. And what does that do for you? Yeah, there is that vengeful satisfaction, but what future does that provide for you? What is it doing to your HEART, the soul of You? Is being a vengeful person who is deliberately trying to cause hurt, really who you want to be? Are you really a person who would ENJOY this? I hope not!


Okay, so you tested that water, and you now know you can still attract him, even while she is around. You GOT that satisfaction. Be done with that.

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2007
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 3:59pm




Thank ya'll so much! I know you are all right and I did get to thinking about what I was doing. I haven't talked to or seen him since Friday when I

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 10:35pm

kinda-sorta!!lol


It has been a long road but I finally do not care to date and finally do not see every single cute guy (and yes at 44 I still see them now and again!lol) - as a potential date!!!

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2007
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 11:37pm

I am so so glad to know that I am normal lol! You sound so much like me. I have a 15g and 10b. And like you I just want to spend time with them and I guess make

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