BF acting insecure?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
BF acting insecure?
2
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 12:27pm

I was having a discussion with my BF of one year. Nothing big, just general discussion when he started talking about this woman at work that was "all over him" and he said another co-worker pointed it out.

I know in the book "Why Men Love Bitches" it says that if they are announcing it there's nothing to it and that it's a sign of insecurity. To me though, it just ticks me off that after a year I still have to deal with such petty insecurity! Personally I'm not jealous of her at all and that if he wants her over me then that's fine. I'm happy in my own life with or without a man! One minute he's talking marriage and long term committment and the next he's telling me some other woman "wants him". WTF?

I'm so irritated that I'm not even sure I want to stay with him tonight, but I don't feel like talking to him about this right now. Ever really. I just want him to "get it". I'm thinking if I go home and be alone tonight that perhaps he'll realize he needs to be more respectful? Any advice.

Oh and he's not a young, immature guy either. We're both professionals and well past 30!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 1:00pm

HI there. Never having had this experience, all I can say is that maybe he's worried you won't think he's attractove anymore? I think sometimes people think that if they are sought after and considered a hot commodity by others they think their SOs will be more into them.

It doesn't normally work, instead, as you're finding out, it's merely annoying, but I think at some point, maybe while he's in the middle of a ramble about how someone else wants him, you should say something about how you don't need to think anyone else wants him, and it shouldn't matter to him, either.

I am not a "hold my feelings" in kind of girl, so I would probably ask him if he was trying to make me jealous. Obviously he would probably deny that, but it might make him realize that I didn't particularly care to hear it.

On the flip side, maybe he's just venting because he finds it annoying too. I don't know, as I don't know him, but if that's the case, maybe you should just let him ramble. If he wanted to be with someone else, he would be.

Moody, slightly jealous


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 1:11pm
Yeah he used to be REALLY bad about it always talking about ex girlfriends and this and that. I got really PO'ed one day and basically said I was done with that kind of stuff. Not because of jealousy, but because it's painful to think he wants me to be insecure. It's been a YEAR and it's happening. I have been doing the "no audience, no show" tactic and completely changing the subject.