BF issue
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| Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:04am |
First, I would like to say that things have been going really great. I just have a bit of a BF issue. I'm not sure how many of you remember, but I had dated a guy (J) a couple of years ago and after 3 months I broke up with him. I really liked him, but I just never developed feelings for him. So, anyway I spent a couple of years getting my life together. And about 2 1/2 months ago, I emailed J just to see how he was doing, and before I knew it, we had decided to give it another try. And the difference is like night and day for me. In fact sometimes I have to take a step back, because it feels like I'm falling for him too quickly. Well, he keeps asking me if it feels different this time, and I tell him yes. But he wants to know why. I've told him that I think it was somewhat of a timing issue last time. That I just wasn't really ready for a relationship. But, that doesn't seem to be a good enough answer for him. He asked me again yesterday. And I said if it isn't broke then it doesn't need fixed. Because, to be honest, I don't really know why I feel differently this time. I just do. I think maybe he wants to know what he is doing differently this time, so he can keep it up, and not revert back to something he was doing last time. I told him that everything he is doing is just right, and not to worry so much. I'm not sure how to convince him that I'm not going anywhere this time. I do feel that he has a right to have some concerns, since I did break up with him before. But there are never any guarantees with any relationship. I'm just not sure how to answer his questions of "why it feels different" that will satisfy him. Any thoughts?
Even though I have told him that it does feel different, and that he is doing everything perfect, I haven't really told him how much more different it feels. Maybe that would help? I've always been afraid to put my feelings out there first, but maybe that would show him that he doesn't need to worry about this?
TIA
Kristy


Hi Kristy,
Congrats on having things work out well this time around - that is encouraging. Could definitely be a timing thing. And especially when you are a mom.
I think you should just be honest and keep the info flowing with him. In time he will trust that things won't go as they did the last time. Just be patient and reassure him a bit.
Keep us posted - we wish you all the best!!