BG was in a motorcyle accident...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
BG was in a motorcyle accident...
12
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 5:40pm

So I'm away for the weekend with LDD for a wedding of one of his friends. We're having a wonderful, romantic, time. Dancing, wine, conversation, etc., when I get a call this morning from a mutual friend of BG and mine. BG was in a pretty bad accident (bus crossed the yellow line and BG swerved to miss and went down hard). He's being airlifted to a hospital and wanted me to know. The friend asked me to call his daughters and let them know, which I did. LDD hops in the shower and says, "we need to get you to him". I just followed his lead, not sure what to do. Part of me wants to go to him and part of me says that sends the wrong message to him about our relationship. Then I get a call from the wife of a guy that was riding with him when he went down. She told me that he had a passenger (a woman of course) and that she was pretty hurt as well. I told her I was thinking about going out to see him but she said that she wouldn't. I was glad for her advice but she said "Cat, he had a woman with him. You're with someone else now as well. I think I would just check up on him by phone, at least for now". So I told LDD that I wasn't going and that he should go on into work (he was going to call in sick so that we could have a longer weekend together). He dropped me off and promised to come back tonight and be with me. He was so sweet and supportive but we are at that stage of our relationship where we don't know each other well enough to be real confident in our commitment to each other.

So I'm at home, alone, right now...I know that BG is going to be ok. He's conscious but I don't know the extent of his injuries. And yes, I'm feeling a bit tormented by the fact that 2 weeks ago he told me he loved me and now he's on his bike with another woman. I can't deny that that hurts a little. Why!?!! I have LDD and moved on, or so I thought. Now I'm all conflicted. I'm trying to slow down my thoughts and feelings. I shared a life with him for over a year so of course I care about what happens to him but I DO NOT want to lose LDD because he thinks I'm still in love with BG. He said as we were leaving the hotel room "I'll take you to him but I won't lose you to him". I about lost it. We have been having such a great time with so much affection, respect, and fun. I was finally resting well at night because I had eliminated the drama in my life and was settling down with LDD and now this happens.

His daughters and ex-wife are going out to see BG now and I asked them to keep me posted on his condition and they assured me they would. I think I'm doing the right thing in staying away, at least for now. LDD had said that if it was him in BG's position and I walked into his hospital room, he would think that meant I still loved him and was coming back and I certainly don't want BG to thing that. Everything that was wrong with us is still wrong and I can't go back.

Thanks for listening...

Cat
Cat

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 9:55am

City has it nailed... Cat- what would you think if LDD felt a pull to be back by an ex-GF's side because of an accident? Wouldn't you feel that he was still connected to her in ways that you can't overcome? Interesting point of view.


But I do also understand remaining friends with an ex and having it be just that. I've had exes that went back to being only friends.

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 12:59pm

I didn't get to read all of your posts until I was already at the hospital.

Cat

Pages