You were right to bump your own post. Congrats for not reacting. He sounds like a piece of work and not letting it phase you can be such a huge step. I had my own moment today too so I will share! Today as with all days this summer I have DS here with me and his father was supposed to pick him up at 12 noon so I could teach a lesson at the house. He is ALWAYS late and constantly calling during my appts to tell me he is stuck in traffic, on his way, running late, blah blah blah. It is so annoying and I have to take the stupid call because DS is waiting and I need to know whether he is coming or here so he can meet him outside. I took the call and he started his usual thing and I interrupted him and said calmly that SYB had taken our son to 7 11 to pass the time since we didnt know where he was. I just said " look, I am working so here is SYB's number. You can call him and work it out as far as where they are since I am in the middle of an appt" He was like "oh. um ok sure" He took his number down and had to deal with Syb instead of me. Apparently I found out later that he did call SYB to tell him he was "out front" and Syb says "yea well we are sitting out front waiting for you on the porch. You sure you are here?" and my ex had to admit that he was just driving around the corner, not quite out front yet:) so SYB said he just said "well I guess we will see you when you roll around then" and smiled. My ex is a piece of work and I think it gave SYB some satisfaction to know that he caught him in a white lie. Why it is so hard for him to keep his tiny commitments to our kid I will never know....but I felt good just letting SYB handle it and making the ex call the man who literally is helping me raise OUR kid? Priceless. Summers are so far from fair between us over here with me taking care of DS all the time AND working - ex doesnt have a clue and would cave under the pressure as I am sure most of our exes would.
EXACTLY Rlch, it felt sooooo good to succeed in that, hopefully it will also rub off on the kids and in turn eventually they will not be such reactors not just with their dad - oldest is having to learn now how to get rid of the
Kudos to you for remaining calm. One step at a time. Even if the issue of the gas can is not the best example, your X did not have to have the rant about it. And involving your son takes the cake. One step at a time. Next situation, you will find it easier to not get caught up in his drama. I've got lots of practice, it really works as far as keeping you more sane. And not taking the calls when you know the X is on a rant roll, another good move. You don't have to subject yourself to harassment. Boundaries, we have to set them, whether or not the X gets it and respects the boundaries, you still set them. You cannot control his behavior, but you can control how you react to it.
You cannot control his behavior, but you can control how you react to it.
Reminding myself of that point is the only way I get through the day sometimes. That, and finding some way to put a positive, or at least humorous spin on it.
mom_uk2socal
mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16
I had my own moment today too so I will share! Today as with all days this summer I have DS here with me and his father was supposed to pick him up at 12 noon so I could teach a lesson at the house. He is ALWAYS late and constantly calling during my appts to tell me he is stuck in traffic, on his way, running late, blah blah blah. It is so annoying and I have to take the stupid call because DS is waiting and I need to know whether he is coming or here so he can meet him outside. I took the call and he started his usual thing and I interrupted him and said calmly that SYB had taken our son to 7 11 to pass the time since we didnt know where he was. I just said " look, I am working so here is SYB's number. You can call him and work it out as far as where they are since I am in the middle of an appt" He was like "oh. um ok sure" He took his number down and had to deal with Syb instead of me. Apparently I found out later that he did call SYB to tell him he was "out front" and Syb says "yea well we are sitting out front waiting for you on the porch. You sure you are here?" and my ex had to admit that he was just driving around the corner, not quite out front yet:) so SYB said he just said "well I guess we will see you when you roll around then" and smiled. My ex is a piece of work and I think it gave SYB some satisfaction to know that he caught him in a white lie. Why it is so hard for him to keep his tiny commitments to our kid I will never know....but I felt good just letting SYB handle it and making the ex call the man who literally is helping me raise OUR kid? Priceless. Summers are so far from fair between us over here with me taking care of DS all the time AND working - ex doesnt have a clue and would cave under the pressure as I am sure most of our exes would.
EXACTLY Rlch, it felt sooooo good to succeed in that, hopefully it will also rub off on the kids and in turn eventually they will not be such reactors not just with their dad - oldest is having to learn now how to get rid of the
mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16
Thanks city -
mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16
Good for you, Mom!
Kudos to you for remaining calm. One step at a time. Even if the issue of the gas can is not the best example, your X did not have to have the rant about it. And involving your son takes the cake.
One step at a time. Next situation, you will find it easier to not get caught up in his drama. I've got lots of practice, it really works as far as keeping you more sane. And not taking the calls when you know the X is on a rant roll, another good move. You don't have to subject yourself to harassment. Boundaries, we have to set them, whether or not the X gets it and respects the boundaries, you still set them. You cannot control his behavior, but you can control how you react to it.
QB
You cannot control his behavior, but you can control how you react to it.
And that, my dear, is the key to keeping our sanity, isn't it?
You cannot control his behavior, but you can control how you react to it.
Reminding myself of that point is the only way I get through the day sometimes. That, and finding some way to put a positive, or at least humorous spin on it.
QB