BIG NEWS about BF and my kids!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
BIG NEWS about BF and my kids!!!
16
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 12:52pm

So - I have been wanting him to meet the boys for about a month or so.

JH

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 1:52pm

"YAY!!!!! I am so nervous/excited. It really tells me that he is looking into the future with me - it's huge on so many levels!!!"

Ok... this is I caution you to step back and focus. "he is looking into the future with me"

No... he's not. He's meeting your son, possibly both of them. That in itself means NOTHING other than HE'S MEETING YOUR CHILDREN. Take it one step at a time and don't start projecting the future or you WILL be disappointed again.

As for prepping the boys for the meeting, it sounds like you've answered their questions about him, so that's a good start. Let them know how you expect them to behave, and let them know the consequences they will face if they don't. Pick a timeline for your meeting and stick to it- say go and hang out at the pool with bf for 2 hours and then go. You want the first meeting to be light and fun for everyone.

After the meeting, talk to your children about how they feel, and do the same with the bf.

Good luck!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 2:27pm

I agree with Alison. Think of this as a first date - short and sweet. Maybe he can join you for burgers at their favorite restaurant? Or breakfast at a bagel place after his gym workout?

Short and sweet - no overthinking!!

And yes - tell them it is just a friend - no PDA - and remind them of good manners as they always have with company - that is a good learning lesson for them and better on everyone's nerves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 2:39pm
I asked the boys first - what they wanted to do and where - making sure they understood this was just a new friend I had that I thought they might find fun to meet.

JH

Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 4:23pm

Yeah I hate to agree here, but I do :(


I've learned that meeting the kids could possibly be the kiss of death, because in comes reality. Just be prepared, and keep things light hearted.

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 7:09pm

I'm going to agree with Westie and Allison.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 12:16am

I also don't want to come on here and burst your bubble. Guys who don't see kids, just don't understand the real importance of it. Take it from me. I've dated men for MONTHS and as soon as they got to know my kids, it kind of freaked them out, or they realized they didn't want that or they thought I was looking for marriage.


Just try to chill out and when they do meet, make sure they don't meet for quite awhile after that. Take it veryyyy slowly. Otherwise, it "could' turn into the kiss of death.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:18pm

I'm calming down about it.

JH

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:45pm
How about X-Man since he plays X-box?
Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:54pm
I love men who play video games lol. I love them too, and I love the "big kid"
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:57pm

ah... a better nickname.. "Big Kid"

Mark who finds it takes up wayyyyyy too much time to get good at a video game to enjoy them

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