Birthday Dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Birthday Dilemma
10
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:50am
Help me with this. Shane's birthday is November 26th. I have agoniszed over what to get him. He's hard to buy for. I had an idea, his cousin shot it down saying "he already has one, why does he need a new one?" It is a Ben Hogan golf bag. Shane's bags are old. I wanted to buy him a new one. So I looked into other things and nothing seemed right. So I just came out and asked Shane. He took me to the golf shop and showed me none other than a Ben Hogan golf bag. The one I had my eye on in the first place. I told him that was my first choice and had even looked at it, but his cousin said what he said, so I stopped right there.

Well, money is tight and the bag is $150.00. I know he wants it and I want him to have it. But he has asked me to please not get it because I need new clothes more than he needs that bag. Especially since he rarely golfs anymore. I feel so bad. I know I need new clothes really bad and he can always have the bag for Christmas, but I want to give him something special for his birthday. He named off a few sexual favors I can take care of....LOL!

If you knew money was tight and your man already asked you not to get the present, what would you do instead? I plan to take care of the sexual favors anyway, so that's no problem, but what else can I do? I just want his 35th to be special.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 11:35am
I would not get the golf bag - too expensive - and it encourages more golf which is not really in the picture with his hours and your new baby coming up. I would think of something else to get him that doesn't cost that much money. Be creative - a huge candle can bring many nights of favors!!

Maybe a different kind of bag - it could hold candles and.... (I will let you think of the rest!!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 12:26pm
Every birthday is special. Period.

To make this one more so, cook his favorite meal, dance in the living room to his favorite cd, light some candles, and enjoy one another. A rain check can be made up by you for the golf bag at a later date . . . like after the baby is born, you are in the new house, and you aren't living paycheck to paycheck.

Cut yourself some slack, Mel, you can't do it all, and you shouldn't even attempt to. Look at the financial mess it has put the two of you in before.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 12:34pm
Well, he HATES candles, thinks they are evil.. Hates, Hates them! I love them, so I can see a totally romantic idea. I buy them anyway because I'm home more and like them.

But he lost a nice chair he had when he worked at the last place. He left it and was going back to claim his belongings and they all took it upon themselves to divvy it all up between them and he lost his stuff.

He had a nice, nice Texas Longhorns chair for outside that he really misses. I found one for a good price. He also mentioned and showed me a book about Ben Hogan (his golf idol, hey, he's a hometown boy from Ft. Worth too) and I might get him both of those things instead and save the bag for Christmas if we can swing it. I still want him to have it, but under the circumstances with the extras we have to do in November, it just isn't something I think we can do and he's already said it wasn't that big of a deal to him. (His birthday, I mean). I want to take him out where ever he wants to go and perhaps have some friends come out with us. Dylan will be gone to his father's so we're free to go out child free that weekend. It all depends on if his mom wants us to come out for Thanksgiving. But it's Ft. Worth, after all, maybe we can go out that Friday night and get his old college buddies to come too!

All I know know is it will be special because I want it to be. And no matter what he gets, even if it's not a gift you can open, it will be fabulous because by then, he'll know what his child is (we find out the 23rd) and we'll be together.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 12:36pm
Yeah, wer'e taking a rain check on the bag. He thinks it's a good idea and just wants to be together and do whatever we want. So I'll make sure it's a day never to forget. What's cool is that 3 days before, he finds out the sex of his first child!! What a gift! That's the best b-day gift I could ever wish for!

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 12:41pm
I'm always super cautious about the sex of babies . . . since Alex was a girl during 8 ultrasounds for several months . . . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 12:44pm
Holy moly - that is a good lesson. Did you have the clothes and everything for a girl? And you found she was a he at birth?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 12:58pm
We actually hadn't bought anything. Thank goodness. But my mom and I had ordered the wall paper, the fabric, and were going to get the paint that night to do the nursery in a very whimsical, girly, garden scene.

I had to have ultrasounds every two weeks to check on my ovaries (which were cystic and I had a few cysts rupture during the pregnancy) and because my amnio fluid was low. So every two weeks for months - I would go in and see my little girl. Her name was to be Aspen Lee. Went in at about my 7th month (after being told at month 4 and at every ultrasound since that it was a girl) - and my doctor, after checking all of the normal stuff, said "let's see that baby!" And then said "oh look, there HE is, He is fine, HE has his foot in his mouth!" Immediately I sat up and said "HE? It's a SHE!!!" And he laughed and said "we may have thought she was a she before - but look - there is his penis! It's definitely a boy! Maybe he's just been shy all these months . . . or maybe he is cold!!!" He laughed. I didn't laugh. I cried. Called TT (who wasn't at this particular appointment - he had been at practically every single other one) and said "Aspen has a penis!!!!" and started sobbing hysterically. TT and I both REALLY wanted a little girl. It took me quite awhile to get over it - and I refused to believe it - we did the nursery ultra-neutral, bought everything for the baby in yellow and mint green - and I prayed everynight that the baby would be born a girl. He wasn't. :)

I'm thrilled with my two boys now . . . and am anxiously awaiting the arrival of Aspen Lee - who be of the canine variety!

When I tell people my story - I hear dozens of others who have either been through the same thing or know someone who has. Unless someone has had an amnio or a new 3d ultrasound - I don't believe it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 1:17pm
Wow - what an ordeal - I have never heard of anything like that before. Most of the time the ultrasounds are so accurate.

I chose to be surprised. But I was surprised when they said, it's a boy!! For some reason I always thought it would be a girl.

But now that I have a boy I would never trade him for a girl!! Boys are really cool.

So you have 2 boys - how do you know for sure that you are done?

And what kind of dog are you getting? That is too funny you saved the name for that!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 1:42pm
I agree, boys are VERY cool, and I'm thrilled that I have two of them. :) And dealing with my now 18 year old step-daughter for the last 3 years has made me realize God knew what He was doing giving me two boys!!!!

I know for sure I am done for several reasons. One (and the biggest determination), I don't want anymore children, nor does my dh, who is 40. We have 4 kids, 2 his, one mine, and one ours, and feel extremely blessed. Two, I had 75% of my cervix removed due to cancer and if I were to get pregnant, it is EXTREMELY likely I would miscarry during the first trimester, and if I didn't, I would have to have the remainder of my cervix stitched shut and I would have to be on bed rest throughout my entire pregnancy. And three, as neither of us want any more children, my dh has had a vasectomy and his tests have come back that he is no longer fertile (YAY!!!!) Yep, I'm done!

We are planning on getting a "Pound Puppy" - and therefore aren't sure which kind we will end up with - as we are sure she will pick US - vs. us picking her - but we do know that we want a female. We are going to get her around Christmas time - and I am very excited thinking about finally having my little (or big???) Aspen Lee. I wonder if she'd like her dog house decorated in a whimsical garden theme? Ya think? LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 2:10pm
I would make him his favorite birthday cake and take him out to dinner. I don't have tons of money to spend on birthdays. If I was still with my boyfriend, I would have spent around $150-200 on a Christmas present for him. For his birthday, I gave him a $50 Best Buy gift certificate and a card.

I'm actually kind of relieved that I can get out of the Christmas present this year.