Blast from the Past
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| Tue, 07-26-2005 - 2:37pm |
I am dating this guy who is pretty nice. He is not mean to me or my child, but sometimes he is inattentive. He has always had a way of putting his family before me, but is getting better at it the longer we date. as with all people, he has his good points and he has his bad points (as do I). We've dated for 2 years and during those two years, I never have thought about dating anyone else. I even turned down a friend of mine who I had wnated to date becuase of my b/f. We've talked of marriage and kids and a future together. But he refuses to give me any type of time frame. He doesn't particularly like talking about feelings and stuff like that.
The other night, I ran in to a guy that I had dated in junior high! He was the first guy I had ever really kissed (and I was the first girl for him). And he remembered all that. Both of us were quite impressed with the how the other one had "grown up" over the years. He apologized to me. But wouldn't tell me what for. He just said I knew. Said that it was for things in the past and now for things missed out on. His friend told me that there were two types of people, the wanted and the wantees, and wanted to know which I thought I was. (these comments were only made when my b/f was in the bathroom out of hearing distance) He laughed and joked with me some, but my b/f who was with me at the time, decided it was time to go. As we started to leave, the guy from my past grabbed my hand. He pulled me back. I told him I had to go. And he let me start to leave, then he pulled me back again.
All I've been able to think about is this other guy. And I feel horrible about it. I don't want to marry someone who is not THE person for me, but he's not bad for me. I just have this feeling in the back of my mind that won't go away.
Does anyone have any thoughts? Suggestiosn? Should I just never try to see this guy again? Or should I? Is the feeling just a friendly feeling because we used to be bf/gf back when we were young?????

Hi and welcome!!
My initial reaction is that you should fix what you have and decide about it before trying for someone else. Either the guy you have is good and can be better if you talk about how you feel or it is time to move on.
I think it is normal to reminisce about an old flame. But you don't really know much about him - what is he doing, is he good for you, would he want you, stuff like that.
I would not jump ship from one to another - but to fix what you have now or end it so you can move on to what you really want.
Hope this helps. I am sure the others will have good advice, too.
If the only good thing you can say about your boyfriend is that he's "not mean to you", then I'd say you have some problems with the relationship.
About the guy from the past, it sounds very sketchy to me that he would hit on you every time your boyfriend was out of earshot. He's got no character to hit on you like that. And, the apology line is really very lame..........I'm sorry, you know why. Ummm, no, you don't know why because it was some line designed to get inside your head. From what you posted, it sounds like his "conversation" with you was one big line after another.
You need to figure out if you want a relationship with your boyfriend or not. If not, then leave him and take time out from dating for a while. I don't think the guy from the past is a Godsend or answer for you.
My initial reaction was the same as Fivesense's: why is this guy hitting on you so strongly while you're out with your boyfriend?
Stephanie, CL of the Dating as a Single Parent board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-p