Blog of the day: testing the waters...
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| Wed, 07-11-2007 - 11:18am |
So of course given the great responses and the awesome indepth analyzing, I decided to test the waters a weeee bit. Let's see how cool his reaction is, when he feels a little threatened.
Both of us met with our friends and afterwards, he called to ask if he could see me for a beer to catch up for the day. Now remember, we live under 10 minutes away from each other, so when we meet half way, it's easy and quick. That is why we spend so much time together; we are practically neighbors.
We met at 9pm and left at midnight.
We sat outside by one of the smaller lake drinking a beer and enjoying our company. We just TALKED and TALKED. We just had so much to talk about. Sometimes he would ask me very personal questions about my past that would make me choke back tears. Very hard and then he would just hold my hand and let me be silent until I regained my composure, so I could change the subject.
We talked about this weeks plans. Tonight and tomorrow day and night he is spending time with his juvi teenager that he has to do the mentoring one-on-one with.
He wants to see me Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We are going to go on that hike/fishing day trip on Saturday. So we talked about that a little. He has these plans to take me to the discovery place exhibition Sunday, then show me the Fresca's in Charlotte. Anyway, I told him that was great, but that I have to remind him, I am still trying to date other people. He paused for a moment, his brows were knitted and said " I am monopolizing all of your time, aren't I?". What I thought was neat, that he genuinely realized that he was taking up all my time and you could tell it concerned him.
I told him I enjoy being with him, that I always make the choice to be with him and not to say no, but that I told him I wanted to date more people and I should really try and do that. Then I told him I have a date on Friday night.
He just looked at me and said, "I am ok with that, because that is what you want and what you told me straight from the beginning. I am not going to date other people, because I know I only want to date you. But until you are ready to date only me, I am ok with you dating others as long as you need to. I will continue to ask you out as much as possible, because I enjoy being with you, but you are going to just have to say no, if you want to make time for others."
Then we touched base on what is and what isn't appropriate. Like if we start becoming intimate, then no, it's no longer ok. If I start dating other people and start becoming intimate with them, no, it's not ok.
So I have a date on Friday night, but I can't be excited about it. I know I should, but I know that we all do this: If we like one person particularly more than we do another, it's hard to concentrate on others.
I thought about maybe NOT dating anymore after Friday, or not just anyone, because it would make me feel awkward. It doesn't mean I am going to tell him my decision. I don't think I have too. The option is open for me too if I want to. But I don't want to date just anyone. He would really have to blow my socks off and right now Mr. History has my socks.
What I enjoy about Mr. History the most, is his ability to communicate. He's a wonderful communicator and he feels the emotion in someone; very intune and sharp 6th sense. When I listen to his endless funny stories (the guy has some serious bad luck stories that have me rolling), I can tell he is a very given person and very caring about everything around him. From his family, friends, his students, the delinquents and things that effect him and do not effect him directly. He just cares. He does a gazillian charity events throughout the year. But the best part about him, he just talks about it, like it's an everyday thing; like as if EVERYONE does it. NO bragging. And when he told me the funny story about how he got the Mama's boy award 2 years in a row at his Fraternity, I thought it was sweet, because it was to take care of his Grandma on the weekends, instead of partying with the Frat brothers. She died the summer of his junior year and it was sad to see him reflect on that.
I used to ask M what he did for charity or to make a difference and he said, nothing. His girls are enough for him. We almost had an arguement, because I do alot of charity work and it's nice to see that Mr. History does too and its just a part of his every day life to try and make a difference; as it's mine to give back.
I could really try and find red flags, from the bombshell roommate, the steelers duvet and the Mama's boy awards, but in all honesty, it's all harmless. And the more time we spend together, the more attracted I am to his deep blue eyes, the way he holds my hand, his voice/smile/laugh (I LOVE PERFECT GRAMMAR!!, which to me, is still the greatest turn on of all times.
So Mr. History was as cool as a cucumber and acted TOTALLY unfazed and very understanding to my wants and needs. I give that a 10.
The only THING, I will watch, is the comment he made when I asked him what his friends would say negative about him. He said back in college they called him a commitment phobe. I found that interesting. He has had a few long terms since his divorce, so I don't think that is anything to worry about. The one girl broke up with him, because he doesn't make enough money, but I will keep that in the back of my mind. Not to mention, I am not the best when it comes to commitments. I FREAK out. Once they get to close and I KNOW I am in a relationship, I freak. So I have to take things very slow, or I'll blow it.

Great blog-post! Mr. History definitely has my vote. I think he handled the fact that you still want to date others like a true gentleman. He just sounds like an all around great guy. The fact that he took care of his grandmother...I mean...come on....how many university aged people would do that? I LOVE the fact that he gives so much of himself through charity and volunteer work. I am a huge believer in that as well.
Keep on blogging...love your posts!
Rose