Breakfast observation - why they can see
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| Tue, 11-29-2005 - 5:26pm |
Somewhere on this board we discussed why you don't want your whole life to revolve around having to have a relationship in your life - and that even though you might THINK you are playing it cool or being "hard to get" you will show this intention.
At breakfast today, I saw it in action. I am attending culinary school so I am around a ton of people right now - if only I could have this every day!!
Anyway, at breakfast I saw a group of girls. Their whole demeanor and appearance SCREAMED "I have to have a guy!" They were wearing too much makeup and the wrong style of clothing. Their whole conversation was around their boyfriends or who they liked or gossip about other people. They had no interests - no books - nothing else to do, really.
There were other girls on the other side of the table. They had material they were studying. Were wearing average but nice clothes. Were very busy because they had study groups, jobs, clubs, activities. Talked about jobs they were worried about, taking a test and writing a resume.
I think that when you are not busy enough and you just want to be with someone it is very evident. I don't think you can "play hard to get" or play it cool or play anything but a trick on YOURSELF. I think you just have to be very busy and focused on YOU and then when the right one comes along you will keep focusing on YOU and you will go slow - fit him in slow - as he deserves it.
I hope you see what I mean with this story/observation.
I also know that we single moms are at a disadvantage because it is hard to take time away from the kids to have social activities - the logistics don't work in our favor. I am not sure what the answer is - except that you have to try to do something and do the best you can.
Comments are appreciated! Food for thought ;-)

I found out that I was much happier once I started concentrating on having a life that didn't involve a relationship. I traveled to Vegas and went on a cruise with girlfriends. We had the best time. I also know I can make it financially on my own. I can entertain myself and am just fine being alone.
Just recently I went on my first date in a long time. I had no expectations and had a wonderful time. We are going to dinner tonight and I am looking forward to it. But, if things don't work out, I will be fine too! Life is too short to obsess about something that may or may not happen!
Stephanie
This is why communication is the biggest factor for a relationship to survive.
Their whole conversation was around their boyfriends or who they liked or gossip about other people. They had no interests - no books - nothing else to do, really.
Everyone should have a life outside of their relationship. This will give you something to talk about. It could be a job ,hobby or community activity. Relationships get stale after awhile and this is one of the biggest factors. That sentance sounds like a bored couple watching tv.
Were very busy because they had study groups, jobs, clubs, activities. Talked about jobs they were worried about, taking a test and writing a resume.
Not only will doing something outside of your relationship add betetr communication with a s/o but will also give you a social life outside of your relationship.
From my obsevation of Wests 2 paragraph proves to me that people who tend to be a little busier have more meaningful communication level.
Oh wow, Steph, right on!!
How did you meet him? Keep us posted - I love to read dating stories!!
Good luck!!
He winked at me on match and we started emailing. After about a week we talked on the phone and agreed to meet for dinner and a movie. We hit it off and I am attracted to him. So, we shall see. I am not going to rush into anything. I have been trying to find a happy medium between cautious and paranoid!
I will keep you posted.
Stephanie
Well this is certainly a good thing - keep us posted!! May you have many more happy dates!!
Tell us more!!