Bringing him home..
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| Fri, 01-19-2007 - 9:37pm |
So, mr clueless (and I will not call him this anymore) is the one who didn't confirm date #2 until 4:15 the day of date 2 wks ago--slight drama--but great time. Things have pogressed, and I have invited him to my place tomorrow evening--hang out then go to a movie or to hear music... (d is at a friend's for the night).
It feels so different now! Except for a very brief interest of mine (who wasn't into me), but who knows D and is a family friend, I haven't brought someone I am dating home in 7 years--I feel weird about showing her room, about the pictures of her, and her art work all over the house. Not that I'm embarassed, but this new "dating" me has never been in my house since my daughter. I guess I feel self-conscious--he's never seen me as the mom.
I am really looking forward to tomorrow, but wondered--has anyone else felt this uncomfortable?

Well, what I would do is to have the place picked up of course. But then I would be proud of my place and my son and our accomplishments. I am what I am - and all positive of course! We do have more to offer and have to present like that.
It is GREAT that you have her artwork - I would feature that. It will pique his interest in you.
The thing is, that it seems like we would be more attractive if we were suave and without kids, but kids have a way of forcing us to filter out the shallow types - and that is better in the long run.
The guy that is into you and intrigued by you will LOVE that you are a single mom. Kids are GREAT. And many men are NOT so great - so think of it that way.
Of course you have to come back and give us a story. We have to think of a different nickname for this one. How about Mr4:15?
LOL!!
Yey! That sounds like its moving along well! Good for you! & it will be nice for him to see the "real you" ... I bet he loves it!
Double D has met my daughter. It was a very casual thing at work on a Saturday, but yes, I felt strange. Not because of anything specific, really, but that's a huge side of me it usually takes someone a LONG time to see. Of course he knew about my kids, but now he's seen her- twice actually, and it isn't an abstract thing anymore.
As far as bringing someone home, I still haven't done it yet. Not that I'd be opposed to it, if I thought things were going well and my children were somewhere else... but I live in the middle of nowhere, and it isn't convenient, for one thing. I also haven't gotten to that point with anyone yet where I felt like this might be a relationship I'd want to progress.
With Double D, I'd be less worried about the flotsam and jetsam that accompany having children and more concerned with my house being in disarray. I've been to his apartment, and it's spotless. Of course, keeping a tidy home is a lot easier if you're the only one living in it, but as a full time mom, full time employee, and full time student, the housework is the first thing to go around here.
Moody, who has done the dishes and laundry today, but has so many other things to accomplish before tomorrow night!
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"Of course, keeping a tidy home is a lot easier if you're the only one living in it"
LOUD burst of laughter - of course - that is totally a NO BRAINER!! My house is like a museum when I am the only one in it - and it is so so easy to keep it that way.
Moody,
Don't doubt that Double D cleaned up for your visit. Every guy whose home I've visited neatened things up before I came over. Over time, as he got more comfortable, he'd loosen up- except the guy who had cleaning service and grown kids out of the house. My house is tidy in the public areas, don't look in the closets or my office or garage.
I've only had 2 guys over to my house. 3 month fling guy came by for a couple hours once, was too uncomfortable in the house I had shared w/my X. M has been here several times. Mostly we spend time at his house because I usually have at least 1 of my boys at home every day. Even though we have met one another's kids a couple times, we still try to keep them out of our time together. We joke about how we would need a huge garage and closets if we ever were to move in together, we both keep the public areas clean and have super cluttered bedrooms, offices, closets, garages.
Double D could have cleaned up before I came over, but in this particular case, it isn't likely, since we weren't planning on going to his place at all.
I think he's just one type of person (type A) and I'm all about type B. He is also naturally tidy, and I'm not. I am okay with it, my home is clean where it counts.
BUT, I feel that someone who hadn't ever lived with kids would definitely have to get used to the clutter and sheer amount of STUFF they have!
Moody, who has cleaned (some) today
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I wish I had more time to clean up but I think we do okay in a fairly small place since we live in the city. We do have a mastiff puppy now who spreads his toys everywhere so tidying is a constant job. I heard a Phyllis Diller ( sp?) quote one day that has stuck with me and it is appropriate here:
"cleaning the house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it is still snowing"
HAHA