Bringing up your child/ren....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Bringing up your child/ren....
4
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 12:24pm
This question goes out to the single mothers on this board. When you first meet a new guy who is interested in dating you, how quickly do you bring up that you have a child or children? Do you do it before you give him your phone number or do you wait until you go out on your first date? Also, once he finds out that you are a mother do you notice that he loses interest when before he found out you were a mother he was excited about taking you out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 2:10pm

Well I am currently not single, but I was for over 2 1/2 years and met & dated several men during that time. It was a great learning experience for me.

I always told them right away. I never hid the fact that I had a daughter, usually it just came up in conversation.
If they ducked out, it was just an "oh well" moment for me. I figured, if they were scared away by a 5 year old girl, they weren't man enough for me anyway! LOL...most of them were ok with it though, although eventually, I would find out that many weren't understanding of the demands of a single mom and they went by the way-side.

I believe the sooner you tell them, the sooner you can weed out the ones who aren't going to make it, and find the ones who will. It's like natural selection.

NONE of them met my daughter, except for one guy I dated for over 6 months, and then my current SO. The one guy, had never been a married, no kids...and I think as we started getting serious, and he met my dd, he realized how different our worlds were and that he just wasn't ready for it. He left, broke my heart and eventually I got over him. My current SO (single dad) never blinked an eye at the thought of my dd. He is a great dad, awesome with kids. It was never an issue for him. We've been together 2 years, and I'm very happy now. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 7:03pm

That information is right up there with first name and occupation. Nobody would ever think differently once they knew, because it'd be one of the first things they found out about me (they couldn't form an opinion of me without that being the opinion of me, the single mother).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 3:40pm
if someone asked for my phone number i would wait till they called before telling them. if they tried to make plans right then and there i would tell them right then and there
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 9:26pm

Hi Ruby_13 and welcome!!

I would definitely make it one of the first things I told him about me - finding a creative way to work it into my conversation - for example - when they ask what you do I would say I have my own business - which is great because I get a flexible schedule which works out great for my son.

In the relationships I have had since my divorce I have found that most guys are pretty open to dating a single mom. That has not been an issue at all - and I have dated guys with kids and guys without kids.

Hope this helps - keep us posted!! Is there someone interested in you? Tell us more!!

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