BROKEN UP

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
BROKEN UP
7
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 11:34am
Well after a 3 mth relationship my bf and I are broken up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: blondegreen
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 12:23pm
Do what is best for you. I would rather give him the lowdown on the phone and be done with it. I don't want to sit and chat about why he doesn't want to see me as much as I want him to. He doesn't deserve any validation for his actions. And you should not seek validation from him for yours either. I know it is always hard when you have to let one go - but you will spring back to life and be even more glad you made this decision. Good luck and keep us posted!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: blondegreen
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 12:26pm

I'm sorry, blondegreen!


But to answer your question... just what decision would be different if you talked again, but face-to-face this time? Would you want to go back to dating where you felt like it wasn't enough? Would he suddenly decide he had more time for you, if you met up face-to-face?


I don't think it would matter. I just think that he doesn't want to lose you and the way things are (because the few hours a week was enough for him)- and he thinks that if he saw you face-to-face, he could convince you to not break it off. In his mind- things weren't "broken" and he probably wants to keep it going! But for you- it's not enough. So it's best to let each other go so you can find people who CAN give you what you both want- and have both partners be satisfied with how things are.


I'd be interested in what others might say to this, but this is what I see.


Hugs,


~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: blondegreen
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 12:51pm
Agree that nothing would change even if we met face to face.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: blondegreen
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 3:46pm
Well, if you are both on the same bowling team then you may talk in person and soften the blow so you do not feel awkward around each other. Hopefully you get it sorted out okay. I think you did the right thing because that is a biggie with me. And yes, if they are really into you they can find the time. It sounds like you communicated this very well to him and gave him plenty of chances. Sorry you had to go through this!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: blondegreen
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 3:51pm
Thanks, appreciate that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: blondegreen
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 9:38pm

Don't take it personally - some are just not capable of making the time. And you really don't want to be stuck with that in the long run.

Perhaps since you have to see him again you can just say you both enjoyed each other but have different time requirements?

I have a story about time - and it isn't pretty.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: blondegreen
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 10:28pm
Im sorry! That rots. But if he couldnt give you what you need & want, then so be it.

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