Bully x's 2...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Bully x's 2...
17
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 9:10am

So last night CP called to leave a threatening message about seeing DD today. "its me...im calling to see if you are bringing her tomorrow or do i have to take you to court again. call me back" So i call back and say no you were drunk and i need you to call my lawyer...so he starts ranting and i hang up. He calls back and i say im telling you to stop calling me and call my lawyer and he starts mother-f-ing me up and down and i hang up. So the messages start rolling in..F- this F you You B****. Then the scathing message from his wh*** screaming at me and F-ing me and F-ing this and if i can prove he was F-ing drunk she'll eat her f-ing words and they are getting married in a few weeks and get the F over it. SO i called my lawyer at 7pm last night and he called back at 8 and told me to have my number changed today. If i get one more call to go to the police station and get a restraining order. Im sick to my stomach at this point...i left it all, she got everything she wanted and its still going on. Its as if they cant be happy unless they completely break me...and believe me im starting to feel little cracks. All i want is to keep DD safe and that means keeping her away from him and its

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 9:25am

Oh sweetie, I can tell you are so beyond frazzled and I feel for you.
All I can say is that it WILL get better. The court will address his drinking and with any luck there will be someone appointed to monitor his visits so that things start moving in the right direction for DD. I would feel the same way as you do about not taking her over there and I guess it was to be expected that he would have an all out freak fest about it but this too shall pass. He seems to go back and forth between trying to con you into thinking he is nice and then going all ape on you. As soon as he gets slapped by the court he will be nice again to see if you will drop the stuff the court orders.
I agree with your attorney in that you should not be in any contact with him and changing the number is a great start. The situation is too abusive.
And when I think about you not letting someone close to you comfort you, I just want to hug you. It is NOT GOOD to deny someone who cares about you the opportunity to help you. Please rethink this. I know you might be going through some reassessing of Prince but whatever happens with you two in the future, I am sure he would be the first to tell you that he cares very much for you and your daughter. What would he say or feel if he found out that you hid last night from him - let people in to help you or you will end up swimming in it all alone. If you do end up dealing with it all alone because you dont want to burden people with it, your DD will have a mom who is beyond frazzled rather than one who is deeply challenged by a situation and getting lots of support. Be good to yourself!

BIG HUGS....

Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:19am

All i want is to keep DD safe and that means keeping her away from him and its

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:31am
I would change all numbers and only deal with him through the court. Don't drive her anywhere. I think it is time to play hardball with him legally and work with your lawyer - no matter the cost - you can always make payments over time - but now is the time to set up the situation to work for everyone over a long period of time. I do not believe you should have to drive her anywhere. And he should only get her on his days. But really with his drinking and behavior I don't think he should have her at all - I would be inclined to pull out all legal guns to get sole custody. I really would.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:33am

he threatens to take you to court HA HA - "See YOU in court buddy oops bully!!LOL"


Oh girl, how horrible for

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:37am

one more thing to remember


BULLYS ARE BIG COWARDS

mom_uk2socal

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:39am

GOOD point - I would get a restraining order. I would not answer any of his calls. And I would not go to his house. But talk to the lawyer because you do not want to be in contempt of court.

It is really stressful and scary right now but you have to be strong to sort this out once and for all. Once he realizes that you legally have the upper hand, he will back off and respect that I think. And with his drinking he really doesn't have a leg to stand on.

The RO will help document his bad actions. Make sure somewhere in there you put drinking. I think you have said that he has DUIs, right? In my mind that documents his drinking problem and should help you get sole custody so he has no visitation without supervision - maybe the court can supply the supervision? And he should have to supply the transportation for that. No more driving for you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:50am

Thank you all soooo much. I cant even tell you im sitting here on the verge of hysterics staring at my

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:57am

Don't be mad or stressed - keep your cool and do whatever it takes to get this taken care of legally. I am not a lawyer, but it sounds to me like you have everything in your favor to remove him from your lives.

You should definitely change all phone numbers to unlisted and give it out to very few. Do not speak of this with anyone who would talk to him.

YOU CAN DO IT! And then you will never have this much intensity to deal with again. It will all get better.

If prince is a distraction, tell him you need a break to focus on this.

I was wondering - can you move somewhere else to be close to your family?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 11:12am
I live very close to my mom but her health and lack of interest in getting better is just another burden really. The rest of my family lives out of state and its not an option to leave my mom at this point. Believe me i thought of moving to florida but i think i would have to be getting married and have my potential husband live there for work and then id have a legal leg to stand on. He doesnt drive and neither does she so that is in my favor for right now but who knows at this point what hes capable of. I just know they are both evil to the core. I can honestly say that because of the messages that were left last night...just evil.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2008
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 11:49am

I am not a lawyer and can't give you legal advice.


That said.


I agree with the others try and get a protective order or restraining order.


From my own experience document, document, document. Write down everything. Keep the phone messages. Transfer them to another recording device if possible. I got a nifty little digital recorder pretty cheap.

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