buried under papers and lenders= stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
buried under papers and lenders= stress
5
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 10:02am

Just an update...my last post was about us having to find another living situation and the journey with that continues every day. I am trying to not panic and just do right in hopes that it will all work out. We are applying for loans and do qualify for an FHA based on credit scores but we need to finish tax returns of course and we were putting that off for 2007 but not anymore! I considered doing low doc loans since I am self employed but if I did that I have to come up with 20% down and well 20% of a house in my city....I dont even want to think about it. We are saving every penny just in case of course but I hope that with the tax returns done we will go with FHA and qualify for a loan that gets the house we need with downpayment of a minimum 3%. It is nervewracking but my numbers indicate that we will be ok if I just get the paperwork done. I was surprised how much I made in 2007 and 2008 projections look good. SYB makes a lot less than I do and last year was rough because of his mom's estate needs so his income is less there too. I am feeling the pressure of being the one who has the greater income to prove. Of course this means I have to come up with the money to pay taxes earlier than I expected and before my greatest paying concerts appear to help me out. Financially I have been a bit spotty in the past few years but I am trying to get my act together and though I feel the growing pains, I am glad I am getting the financial house in order - so to speak. Housebuying and just taking that step together produced a bit of a panic atack with tears a few nights ago and we worked through it together. I am going to need to work through those fears of taking the next step with him and my son. Engagement has been discussed but honestly I dont think that would take the fears away. I have had engagements break up too and honestly, it is just FEAR that keeps me from feeling solid. Even in this financial save every penny period, I am going to therapy twice a month to try and deal with the anxiety of it all. SYB and I are great but not getting enough US time since we are constantly working or doing paperwork or scraping together time for my DS. Issues with his sisters continue but I am trying very hard to just stay to the side of that and let him deal...
I have a new accountant now which is good because I think the other one wasnt working hard enough on deductions for me. It means redoing 2006 while I get 2007 done....so many papers! I declare every penny I make unlike some people and feel very honest about that but I want my deductions! I need them actually!

I guess I am just venting but wanted to let you all know why I am a bit absent on the boards except for the occasional comment that I cant resist.

Please send all positive money saving vibes our way. This should be an exciting time but right now I am not feeling it. I hope that once I get the green light from the lender I will start to get excited about visiting houses and knowing that we are going to be starting a new chapter together....I do love him so much and want us to have this - it just feels so disconnected right now because of all of these hoops and not having enough time for each other. We could really use a cheap date right about now!!

ue
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 10:57am

AYE THE STRESS, CITY!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 11:10am
Thanks Moon. I know youa re right. I just talked to SYB and told him that even though we are strapped I still want to have a nice date, something simple, for our anniversary which is on June 6th. I probably wont last that long though. I think we will try and take a long walk together today with Monty. That always helps and the weather here right now is absolutely beautiful. I also think it would help if I took an exercise class but one thing at a time:)
I am secretly hoping that by the time we hit our anniversary I will have heard from the lender and can surprise him with that news. it is mainly me communicating with them at this point because my income is more complicated to document. We will see...:)
HUGS over there as well.
ue
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 11:49am

Wow, City.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 12:18pm
You are right - that might be the ultimate in retail therapy. I hope this day comes soon. I dont want to shop around or even visit houses until the lender approves us and gives us a budget....but I am tempted of course. I have a pretty good idea of the type of area in the city we are looking into so that part is exciting. We have been shopping neighborhoods:)
I have to just keep saying to myself that we cant do this paperwork thing forever - it is temporary of course and soon our lives will resemble something more doable!
ue
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 12:26pm
HUGS!! I am sending lots of good money vibes your way - I know you and SYB will pull it all together - and probably be stronger for it. Hang in there!!