I would not let her go under ANY circumstances after reading your post about visit with the psychiatrist. Maybe the psychiatrist can at least recommend supervised visits only. Although, sometimes the mental health professionals can be really wishy washy because of liability issues. Stephanie
Good! Stick to your guns about not letting him see her right now. I know Averey is missing her Dad, but he is so emotionally unstable that it scares me to have them together alone. You may not hear back from the psych this week since Thursday is a holiday. You are doing a great job of staying rational and Avery is so lucky to have you as a Mom! Stephanie
GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very good. I think you should stick to your guns. I wonder if he was drinking when he sent that?
Crazy train just describes it - I thought of Ozzy Osbourne when I saw the title and remembered the song. I laugh because I think Ozzy is just crazy - but in a good way - maybe I saw too many of his reality shows? You would be so lucky as to have an exh like him instead of Taz!!
I know it's sad that he might be alone on T-giving. But are you serious that you STILL want to have a soft spot for him, after what happened at the psych visit just days ago?!?? He was MEAN to you! He was NOT showing that he cares for Averey, but only cares for himself!
You were a saint for staying with him for so long when he was being Taz and you were married... you'd be
I offered - I called my friend who is a therapist-- I told her in reality, i think it would make it easier on ALL of us. Since i have to work at 3pm on T-day, Ave is DEFINALTY going to have an "issue" with that - & I am SURE, be upset that she cant be with either of her parents. She will be at my SIL's, but its not her favorite place to go. Its b/c i just have no other person TO watch her.
Plus, i think that if she gets seeing him out of the way, it will alleviate some of her stress, she wont be AT my SIL's that nite, while I am at work, missing her Dad b/c its a holiday & she isnt with him, & maybe calling him crying. & in TURN, if none of THAT happens, then *I* will be WAY WAY less stressed out about it all AND about leaving her on the holiday to work (b/c i have no choice).
I just sent him this: "The best I can do for you is offer to bring her to meet you for breakfast or an early lunch, on Thanksgiving - somewhere. That way you can see her for a while, while I am around. If you are planning to be at someones house for T-day, I am happy to bring her wherever you are, up till about 2pm. ---- Let me know if that works for you. Im sure she will be happy to see you. She is at dance right now, & i wont tell her anything until I get confirmation from you. ---If you say ONE THING to make her feel badly, or against me, i will take her & leave IMMEDIETLY."
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
I would try to talk to the psych first. But maybe if Taz agrees on the phone that you will meet for breakfast and he can chat with her but promise not to get out of line it is ok?
Only you know the answer to that - just be careful.
I think you should stop bringing up the past and the marriage and only talk and allow him to talk about where you go from here.
See what he says when you talk to him on the phone. Talk talk.
AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!! Rebecca, what are you thinking?!!!!!! This just really bothers me. He was so crazy, then he acts like the stuff at the psych's didn't happen. He is capable of violence- YOU KNOW THAT. Be very, very careful.
You really have to step back and realize the fantasy person you loved does not exist. He throws you a bone and you jump at the hope that this time he's learned his lesson and will change. He won't change, his anger controls him. I know it takes forever to figure this out, each of us has to do it in our our way. I took 30 years, I know better now. When ever my X goes into nice mode I wait for the other shoe to drop, it always does. It may seem cynical, but I think I'm just being realistic.
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Stephanie
I agree. & I forgot today teh psyc is in a school, not at his office. So i havent heard back. & i do worry about his allowing a visit! Anyway ......
...
You are doing a great job of staying rational and Avery is so lucky to have you as a Mom!
Stephanie
Edited 11/20/2007 4:16 pm ET by texas_mom1991
GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very good. I think you should stick to your guns. I wonder if he was drinking when he sent that?
Crazy train just describes it - I thought of Ozzy Osbourne when I saw the title and remembered the song. I laugh because I think Ozzy is just crazy - but in a good way - maybe I saw too many of his reality shows? You would be so lucky as to have an exh like him instead of Taz!!
His response to the email ... changing his tactic now ... was "can i please see Averey".
Im NOT going to lie. WHY THE F does it tug at my heart strings??????
Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca!!!!!!! Don't cave!
I know it's sad that he might be alone on T-giving. But are you serious that you STILL want to have a soft spot for him, after what happened at the psych visit just days ago?!?? He was MEAN to you! He was NOT showing that he cares for Averey, but only cares for himself!
You were a saint for staying with him for so long when he was being Taz and you were married... you'd be
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Shoot! I should have read this 1st! ....
I offered - I called my friend who is a therapist-- I told her in reality, i think it would make it easier on ALL of us. Since i have to work at 3pm on T-day, Ave is DEFINALTY going to have an "issue" with that - & I am SURE, be upset that she cant be with either of her parents. She will be at my SIL's, but its not her favorite place to go. Its b/c i just have no other person TO watch her.
Plus, i think that if she gets seeing him out of the way, it will alleviate some of her stress, she wont be AT my SIL's that nite, while I am at work, missing her Dad b/c its a holiday & she isnt with him, & maybe calling him crying. & in TURN, if none of THAT happens, then *I* will be WAY WAY less stressed out about it all AND about leaving her on the holiday to work (b/c i have no choice).
I just sent him this:
"The best I can do for you is offer to bring her to meet you for breakfast or an early lunch, on Thanksgiving - somewhere. That way you can see her for a while, while I am around. If you are planning to be at someones house for T-day, I am happy to bring her wherever you are, up till about 2pm. ---- Let me know if that works for you. Im sure she will be happy to see you. She is at dance right now, & i wont tell her anything until I get confirmation from you. ---If you say ONE THING to make her feel badly, or against me, i will take her & leave IMMEDIETLY."
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
I would try to talk to the psych first. But maybe if Taz agrees on the phone that you will meet for breakfast and he can chat with her but promise not to get out of line it is ok?
Only you know the answer to that - just be careful.
I think you should stop bringing up the past and the marriage and only talk and allow him to talk about where you go from here.
See what he says when you talk to him on the phone. Talk talk.
AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!! Rebecca, what are you thinking?!!!!!! This just really bothers me. He was so crazy, then he acts like the stuff at the psych's didn't happen. He is capable of violence- YOU KNOW THAT. Be very, very careful.
You really have to step back and realize the fantasy person you loved does not exist. He throws you a bone and you jump at the hope that this time he's learned his lesson and will change. He won't change, his anger controls him. I know it takes forever to figure this out, each of us has to do it in our our way. I took 30 years, I know better now. When ever my X goes into nice mode I wait for the other shoe to drop, it always does. It may seem cynical, but I think I'm just being realistic.
Please be very careful.
QueenBun
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