Call from Taz this morning ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Call from Taz this morning ...
33
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 8:14am

i am afraid things are going to rev up. Hopefully he backs off again, but i dont know. The doc told me to email that letter Averey wrote him about "Getting beder". He apparently REALLY took that as I am putting into her head that he is "sick".


This AM he called & I handed the phone to Ave to answer since i try not to speak with him. He immedietly asked for me. He said basically the following "Are you going to let me see her? I missed that appt w/ the doctor b/c i thought it was next Monday. You cant keep doing this. I have to see her. Im going crazy. I feel like Im going to explode. This isnt good for her. I dont know what this doctor thinks he's doing but he has NO RIGHT to keep her from me. I dont know what the hell my atty is doing, going along with this. If you want child support again, youre going to have to let me see her. This isnt good for her, & its not good for you or the doctor either, take that as a threat if you want, but I am getting really pissed off about this".


I just told him to call the doc or his atty, & hung up.


20 min later he called back 5X & left a VM when i never answered. He said, more calmly, "PLEASE stop telling her Im sick. Please answer, I want to talk to her".


My explanation to Averey about the "sickness" has been that the reason Daddy gets so angry easily, & says things he shouldnt, is b/c his brain doesnt always work like other peoples. If he meets with the doctor & does what he is supposed to, maybe he can get better at not being so angry. SHE takes that as "sick". Well ... in reality .. he IS sick.

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Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 11:43pm
Stick to your guns and you'll do fine.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 12:04am
I promise. I have NO qualms about sticking to my guns on this. I have come this far .... i never EVER thought i would have the strength to keep her from him. Bet HE never thought i would either! lol

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 12:55am
Emma, I dont think his atty is charging him much ... if any at all. He is an old childhood friend.

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 1:00am

VERY good point West! I should keep that in mind. I think we are ok now though ... I am not due to pay him out (40K! Ugh, the 2nd 1/2 of the settlement ... of the freaking equity on the house that was at the TOP of the market, when they evaluated the value for the settlement, errrr!!!) until 3 years from this coming summer.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 1:01am
Funny ... i have compared it, to Averey, of him being in a time out, until he can act like a good dad. Even Aves counselor compared it to a time out.

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 12:32pm

I understand why you feel compelled to email him...truly I do. But emailing him also puts it in black and white for the courts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 1:55pm
Just ignore him to the best of your ability and forward the messages to the psych.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 2:36pm
I agree with the writing thing. No more emails!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 2:45pm

You know that he's just trying to play to your compassionate side- the one that ALWAYS gave into him in the past.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 2:54pm
Just forwarding the emails to the pysch is a great idea if she is allowed to do that.
Would that help rlch? It would help me if I were you because I hate loose ends. Someone asks me the same question over and over in distress and I feel compelled answer just to to silence them. But doing something ,anything as a ritual to that behavior would help shut off the alarm in my head. So if he writes you, send it to the pysch or someone else to keep for you and maybe that will help. It surely documents things and shows that you are washing your hands of his manic behavior.
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