Calling too much?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Calling too much?
16
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 11:35am

I went out with this guy once.

NebrCountryGirl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 11:47am

Either one of two things are happening....

Either 1)he's very interested

Or 2)he's a control freak.

My inclination is that if he calls too much, he's a control freak and/or looser. He's trying to monopolize your time so you don't have time for anything but him. And that's an unhealthy sign of insecurity on his part. Which can lead to other controlling behavior, even abuse.

Perhaps there are exceptions... like you keep missing his call so he tries again. Or the calls get interupted when he was in the middle of a thought, so he calls back... But if the calls are insignificant and pointless.. that is an indication that he's monopolizing your time.

proceed with caution.

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 12:43pm

I re-read my post.

NebrCountryGirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 1:49pm
What are the reasons for the calls?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 4:08pm
The reason for calling is usually, "to see if I am okay," to ask "how my day is going,"
NebrCountryGirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 4:30pm

Well, he is thinking about you. You will have to wait and see how it all goes. I think the fact that you are concerned and watching means you would not have a problem pulling the plug if it goes to "control" mode.

Let us know when he asks you out again. Maybe he is trying and is nervous?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 11:15pm

Don't give up on the nice guys!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 10:18am
Welcome Belinda - and how very nice that you have a nice guy! Thanks for sharing!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 10:29am

I think if I were in that position I would let him know that while I appreciate his interest that my life is just way to hectic with five kids for more than one phone call a day, and that X time is the best time to talk. And then I would not feel obligated to answer my phone if he called at other times. But I'm like that, I ignore my phone a lot if I just dont want to talk or busy doing something else.


I don't think you need to stop seeing him, but I would lay down a couple boundries and see how he responds. A control freak will freak out at your taking control of the situation and giving Him boundries. A nice guy will understand and make sure he only calls you when you're able to talk or when it's important.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 11:23am
I wouldn't feel comfortable with that many phone calls after one date.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2007
Wed, 11-14-2007 - 11:09am

Okay, what is it with all of you and the "good guy must not be GOOD" syndrome?


I'm one of those good guys. If you meet me, date me, I treat you with respect. I am not controlling. I call or text frequently (texts are best, as you can send as many as you want and not expect a response, even after one date. I agree a lot of calls after one date is kinda weird, but not necessarily bad.)


My current GF told me that I was not who she would typically choose or date. She took a shot. I was not, well what she thought at the time, her "type." Well, despite the drama, she tells me several times a day how much she loves me, how wonderful I am, she texts me all the time. She tells everyone she knows how great I am to her, how happy she is because she can just be herself with me, and she even told one of her ex's (who I've known myself for about 17 years although I never knew she dated him until recently) "He's an amazing lover and a stud/freak in bed." (This ex-bf

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