Can't get him out of my mind!!!!????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Can't get him out of my mind!!!!????
2
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 4:39pm
HELP!!!!!! I am still in the early separation stages with my STBX but everything is moving very quickly because it has to. I take posession of my new place on May 15th so we are trying to get everything sorted out by then for a clean break.
STBX has already dated and slept with other women. My focus has totally been on our two daughters (5&3) and I have been home with them every single night since Jan 1st. The few exceptions are when I go out for coffee/drinks with my married girlfriends on the odd occasion or when I have gone out for a quick drink with a former co-worker.
There in lies the problem....the former co-worker is divorced and was recently engaged. We have been good friends for at least 10 years but always just surface stuff. Anyway his engagement ended and my marriage ended and here we find ourselves.... I met him for a quick drink after work one day and our typical quick hug and peck on the cheek quickly turned into a real kiss...I was pleasantly surprised.
I met him for another drink the next week and he made it very clear that he is interested in me. I never really expected this to happen. He is a great guy, super personality, Mr. talented, Mr. Funny guy and he has a great job to boot. I am not tremendously physically attracted to him but his personality is a HUGE pull for me. Since I am so close to moving out I have made a silent promise to myself to try to not take this to the next level until I am in my own place. But it is KILLING me! I have not had sex since New Year's. STBX has tried on MANY occasions but I am finished with him. The other problem is that STBX doesn't have his own place yet so when I do go out he is usually at home with the kids. I just can't see myself going out for a night on the town, only to come home and have him under the same roof. Too weird which is another good reason to just wait. My head says wait but the rest of me is saying LET's HAVE SOME FUN....!!! It is long overdue....
Rose
Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 11:12pm

Listen to your head on this one. It is too sticky with the divorce not finalized and your stbx still living under the same roof.

Picture this: everything you have written or negotiated for a smooth divorce and custody/visitation arrangement and settlement are blown to bits by an exh who is bitter and jealous. It just isn't worth the risk for a few moments of fun.

I know you feel overdue - but soon you will have the rest of your life. Put yourself first in this one.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 10:49am
Yup I know you are right....no fun.... but right!
Rosecolouredspecs