Caught!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Caught!!!
3
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 9:48am
I've been seeing this guy now for a couple months. We really hit it off. My son's dad lives like 200 miles away so he doesn't come much. . It's really just me and my son. He is 4. Well me and this guy spend a lot of time watching movies, talking, at my house after my son goes to sleep. I had no plans on them meeting but the one night he passed out on my couch and for the life i me, i mean i was shaking him and all (swear) could not wake his butt up. WEll my son came downstairs in the morning and i introduced him. That day he took the 2 of us to lunch and dinner and we played football with my son. My son took to him very well. But it scares the poop out of me cause it hasn't been that long and I really had no intentions on letting them meet that soon. We knows of him as mommmy's friend. Well for the past couple weeks the 3 of us have been going to basketball games, dinner things like that. Last night I let him sleep over in my bed.. My son wakes up in the middle of the night and craws in bed with us, (he had a bad dream) now i feel terrible. Not at all did i see any uncomfortablness from my son or my guy but from me. I feel like the worst mom. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: honeyap
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 10:00am
This sounds strangly like my post from last week:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsolomother&msg=7529.1&ctx=128

No, you are not a bad mom. What does your boyfriend say about committment and letting your son get attached to him? I am trying to work out with my boyfriend where our relationship is going. I know he takes letting my dd get attached to him very seriously, but it might not be possible to say at this point whether we are headed for marriage. It feels like we could be, but it is not a certainty yet. I'm figuring it out as I go.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: honeyap
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 10:24am
Sweetie, settle down. If your son didn't feel uncomfortable, then you are probably alright. But I would sit him down and explain some stuff to him. I remember after Shane and I got together exclusively. My son, Dylan had met Shane earlier on while we were just friends. I used to drop by Shane's work because it was okay to do that and Dylan would be with me. The men there (it was a car dealership) would throw the football for him, blow up balloons, and play with him. It was comfortable for everyone. But after I began to stay the night with Shane more regularly on weekends, he said I should bring Dylan over with me when I had him and we'd all go do sometihng fun. I was skeptical of staying over, but Dylan was comfortable sleeping on the couch and "camping out". He wasn't ready for the second bedroom by himself. But Shane always felt the need to move out of the bed if Dylan came in and I had to stop him because if I was going to have a relationship with this man, Dylan needed to see that we slept in the same bed and that it was okay. His father already lived with his girlfriend and Dylan saw that too, so as long as he never walked into anything inappropriate, there shouldn't be an issue.

I think your son is going to be fine. He doesn't seem traumatized by anything and likes your boyfriend. I wouldn't be having him stay over a lot if you aren't sure how things will go though. If you think you two have a future, then it is alright, but just be careful to not let your son get too attached if you aren't sure.

That's the only red flag that can be raised.

Hugs!

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: honeyap
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 10:54am
I don't understand how your guy passed out on the couch and you couldn't wake him up.

I don't think you're a bad mom at all, but you didn't intend to introduce them so soon and I wonder how this all really came about. I didn't intend for my son to meet my most recent boyfriend and he didn't ever meet him for whole 7 months that we dated.

I would not, could not, let my son crawl into bed with me and my boyfriend (especially someone I had only been dating for a couple of months). If my son woke up in the middle of the night, I'd walk him back to his room and I'd sleep in there with him if I had too.