cell phone etiquette
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| Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:33pm |
So I had a great ski weekend with M, great snow, fun ski buddy, fun apres ski activity. But his X tried her best to ruin it on Sun. by calling M and informing him that his cell phone redialed her number and she heard us in our hotel room the previous night. She tried to make him feel guilty by first suggesting their D14 had recieved the call, then by saying he was a jerk for having a girlfriend when all his money should be spent on their kids, then that he's an evil sex crazed lecher because he actually has a sex life.
So my take on this is that she should have hung up the phone the moment she realized the phone had called her by mistake. Why torture ones self with listening to your X move on in life? We weren't getting romantic for quite a while after returning to the hotel, so to have heard any really juicy stuff she would have had to hang on for an hour at least! I don't think she actually did that since the things she claims to have heard him say were never said.
I now insist he check that the phone is off or at least the keypad is locked so it won't happen again, especially so his girls aren't the ones receiving such a call.
The ironic thing is that they got divorced due to her infidelity. Of course the guy bailed on her when she became available for a real relationship so she threw away her marriage for a cad. I try not to take her reaction to me personally, she'd feel as threatened no matter who M was dating. She really has not moved on or let go of their relationship, even though she claims to hate him. I have asked M that he not take her calls when we're traveling in the car or anywhere else I can't avoid hearing her end of the phone call. I feel sorry for their girls, their example for adult woman behavior is to make someone else responsible for everything in your life, including your happiness. M faithfully pays his alimony and child support and for lots of additional costs for his kids and for repairs for her car. I just can't stand to hear her make these ridiculous statements that M isn't giving her enough and that their kids suffer because of me. If she refuses to live within her means that isn't M's or my fault. I am also divorced and don't have the financial means I had while married. But I realize that is my choice, I chose to get divorced, so I adjust my lifestyle to fit my current circumstances. And I pay for my lift tickets when we go skiing, the hotel is on his business account because he sees clients when we go to Salt Lake, my flight is on his companion pass. I am not taking food from her children's mouths as she so dramatically put it.
OK, done venting. Anyone else have these kinds of issues to deal with?

I don't have these kinds of issues to deal with- but I have a friend (actually, I met him through OLD, but there wasn't really any spark, so we never were more than friends) who has an ex much like M's.
She's completely oblivious to how the world really operates. Their marriage also ended because of infidelity, yet she's crazy jealous. He's now dating someone else, who is very nice and it's a wonderful relationship. The new girlfriend must have to be very patient, as he shares his children half time with his ex, but it's working out well for them so far.
One thing I find interesting is that their relationship also is really based on friendhsip, with the romance being an added (and wonderful) benefit.
On another note- WHO listens to someone's private conversation and moments?! I get a little creeped out when I overhear my neighbors tiffs and subsequent making up- and it's not that they're loud, we just live side by side in apartments with very thin walls. Makes me wonder what they hear from my side (although me tellin the kids to finish their dinner probably isn't quite the same thing)... I certainly wouldn't purposely listen in on anyone!
Anyhow, glad you had a good weekend, and glad the ex didn't actually manage to spoil it. You don't owe her or anyone any explanations. You're both adults, and she should be too.
Moody, who probably couldn't deal with wacked exes
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I don't have any issues to deal with right now - but just wanted to chime in with support to you. I guess you have to look at it like the more bad stuff she deals out the better she makes you look.
Sounds like you and M are just a great couple and I am glad you had a good time skiing!!
His phone did a crazy thing!! I guess that puppy will have to go in "off" mode the next time!!
Thanks for the validation, Moody. M and I both have psycho X's and we try to be supportive with one another's situation, yet I find it is a strain on both of us if we spend too much time with these issues. We are both trying to be patient and mellow about the whole thing. I figure we both know going into this relationship all the side baggage we have. If either of us can't cope with the situation we should move on.
We had such a great time together, if you ever head out west for a ski vacation, a romantic ski vacation, go through the effort to get to Sundance, and the expense of staying there- soooo cool. The mountain is fairly small by Rockies standards, but a nice mix of terrain. We didn't stay there, but M had a client in Provo, so it was convenient to drive up there.
Yeah, we both really appreciate one another in comparison to our crazy X's. M is forever expecting me to freak out if he's late or if he changes plans because something came up with his kids or work. I figure as long as he lets me know as soon as possible and apologizes for any inconvenience to me, what's there to be mad about? He also understands my post traumatic stress reaction to loud voices. My X yelled about everything, I just can't tolerate anyone being loud and angry, so M watches his tone with me. Men will treat you the way you teach them to treat you.
LOL, his phone just called me. He has to do something about this thing. It's a Blackberry and it is a hassle to lock the keypad-BUT. I am glad I have a flip phone. My X's phone also would do that, it's how the OW made sure I knew what was going on with them. I am sure she deliberatly hit that redial, then acted like she had no clue when I confronted him about it. And no, I didn't listen past realizing he hadn't actually called me and was talking to her.