Change of the Seasons (Myspace blog)

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Change of the Seasons (Myspace blog)
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Thu, 02-28-2008 - 7:03pm

From my MySpace blog:


I am reflecting on this past season of relationship.

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Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 12:58am

"she is an adult and can deal with whatever happens".

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 2:19am

I HAVE met M. M has read my blogs. She wants to go out with me. So what I am posting for all those to see is honest, open and where I am at at this moment. I leave it up to M or whomever reads it to decide for themselves to meet me and do anything with me at this time of my life.

I view it as someone to DO something with. Someone to hang with. I want to have company. I’ll be going out to a concert Saturday night with M and we’ll see. Enough thinking about what MIGHT be and be in the moment.

Insofar as CNDG is concerned, my DD14 and I watched Forrest Gump tonight (her choice). What struck me is how Forrest had unwavering love and always was there for Jenny. I feel that is my challenge. I want to be like Forrest. I want to keep living my life and keep CNDG in my heart with the hope of her coming back “home.”

That’s the naive and romantic in me.

Mark




Edited 3/1/2008 2:29 am ET by mhash
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Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 2:27am
Ah, ok - I see. I thought this was a possible romantic interest. Have FUN!

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 7:18pm
Okay - so tell us how your concert went with M!
Avatar for mhash
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 7:46pm

Awww thanks for your interest in me Judy.

I picked M up at her apt. We went to eat Thai. We drove to the concert. Sat with other MeetIn folks. REALLY enjoyed the concert. All local women who played Lucinda Williams songs. All were very good. One of the MeetIn women played violin there. We had great fun. We were friendly-affectionate but not a lot. I rubbed her back there. Afterwards I wanted bubble tea but the place was closed so we went back to my place to have low fat chocolate frozen yogurt with Grand Marnier. We cuddled by the fire on the couch (what a cliche' huh?) I gave her a back massage (clothes on) and she rubbed my back.

I did not like that I thought of CNDG sometimes when I was with M. I wanted to be fully present. I was not really attracted to M but it was nice to have the physical affection-contact. I really crave that in my life. I like M and we both are on the same positive and spiritual page.

I sent her email thanking her for her company last night and responded in kind. She loves my dog BTW. I tell people that my children and my dog are my best selling points. EVERYONE loves Chili. Our first dog walk together w/CNDG, she offered to watch/board Chili if I need anyone to do that for me.

I'll probably do other activities with her but I still don't have a lot of emotional energy to establish a new relationship.

I posted another blog about CNDG.
---

Why do we love people?
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

I wanted to add this from the book "Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience" in a separate blog posting since it stands alone.

The author talks about her dream where was asked, "Why do we love people?" She answered, "Because they recognize us."

Sharon Salzberg goes on to say, "When someone recognizes a basic goodness within us, beyond our habits and conditioning, when someone recognizes who we fundamentally are, it is the most important thing that can happen to us, and we respond with great love."

The reading this passage comes at this serendipitous time when one of the most intimate relationships I have had in my life has changed seasons and the flower has gone back into germinating or at least not-yet-blooming.

I know have this great love with my children and think they do as well with me. I never really felt this to my soul that with someone else. Ironically this great love is with this person who is a lot like me. Tells me something doesn't it? - for both of us.

Submitted with some lugubriousness, comtemplation, reflection, and gratitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 8:39pm
Well, it sounds like you and M enjoyed a good evening. I wonder if you have more time to spend - and don't go too fast- if your feelings can change in time as you talk more? I know you are still coming to grips with CNDG not being on the same page as you - but this one sounds nice. It is nice that you could find one with the same lifestyle/lifestage that likes to do a lot of the same things? Will be fun for us to see how it all goes!
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Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 6:30pm
What struck me is how Forrest had unwavering love and always was there for Jenny. I feel that is my challenge. I want to be like Forrest. I want to keep living my life and keep CNDG in my heart with the hope of her coming back “home.”

That’s the naive and romantic in me.


Forrest Gump just happens to be my all time favorite movie. I am also touched by his character- simplistic with a love that knows only innocence, nothing that is fabricated or unreal. He simply LOVED her and that was that. Naive? Maybe but it always touches me. It's one of

~Pacific~

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