Chickened out of "the talk"-sorta

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2008
Chickened out of "the talk"-sorta
3
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 10:26pm

Well, this has been an interesting day. I swore I would have the talk with him, but I chickened out. Actually, it wasn't so much chickening out as wanting to enjoy a date with him like no other we've ever had...well, with the exception of our first date.


I teach and mid-terms are due Tuesday. I had tons of work to do and opted for working instead of playing (or talking). I told myself that anyone who called would be told I was busy, including BF/F. He called early afternoon and completely surprised me. He had finished all his chores early and called to ask me to a movie. I wish you could understand the significance of this. In the year+ that I've known him, we have been on many dates, but never to a movie. I know a slightly commited move from him when I see it, so I agreed.


After the movie, we went out for Chinese and to buy some movies at the local video store. The plan was to go back and watch them. When we got home, we sat and talked for a while. One thing led to another again, but this time was so different! He kept eye contact with me the entire time! To make things even better, he sat there afterwards and stroked my hair...definitely new for him. Like I said before, I know the drill and got ready to go. This time he told me that he wasn't kicking me out, that I should stay a while (couldn't stay all night...my dog was home and very hungry). I was amazed! We sat and talked about all sorts of things like we haven't done in quite some time! He confessed some things to me that I never pictured him confessing, so I offered up some secrets of my own. I was so enjoying the night that I didn't want to broach the talk and possibly scare him. It seems to me that there is some progress he is making on his own and I am willing to wait and see what comes of this.


I did find it funny when he mentioned at one point something we could do...another movie, I think. I told him that I was really looking forward to it two weeks from now (again, he travels LOTS and two weeks is our next kid-free weekend). He got all hurt and asked why we had to wait two weeks. I reminded him that he was traveling 7 out of the next 10 work days. "Oh, yeah...two weeks, huh?" was his reluctant response.


I have a good feeling about this. I'm not cancelling the talk, but I am curious to see how much he works through on his own. This tonight wasn't just a small step in the right direction for him/us, it was a giant leap and bound.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 11:01pm
Wow- if he is speaking with his actions that is leaps and bounds. That is wonderful! You should still have the talk but I understand why you waited.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Sun, 11-09-2008 - 7:52pm

It kinda sounds like he's moving himself towards the talk (or at least the actions that might follow "the talk") on his own. I'd go with it and see how it unfolds over the next few weeks.


Can you give me your background with this man? Have you been an item/friends/etc. for a while that you were feeling the need to firm up defining it?


Enjoy!! I hope the next two weeks go quickly for you both!


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Mon, 11-10-2008 - 2:54pm

This is a wonderful update!


I think his actions speak louder that words. Don't feel bad for not getting the specific words out. It was a no pressure night and he is moving towards you without your prompting or need for defination. Maybe at this point it is all semantics.. you know how they say "if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck..." Well that sort of sums up how things are going with you two... even if the actual words have been elusive?


I imagine that he is just as wary of bringing up the pat "friends" talk as well. He knows it was touchy. And he actions are proving he wants more than that. Maybe the best way to go would be to laugh about it... when you two are feeling connected and having a good time, just say something in a humerous way like "I guess its safe to say we are more than friends?"


Thanks for the update :o)


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