Children and boyfriend........

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Children and boyfriend........
45
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 5:15pm

I seem to be finding myself in a catch 22. Nascar doesn't have any children of his own. He's always been on his own and in the last few months, I have introduced him to the girls

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Registered: 11-28-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 1:20am

I totally agree


Isolde Lingerie Sexy Lingerie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 8:59am

Mark, that is really great that you could be so candid on this topic - it provides us with a great perspective of how our lives are viewed by those who are not adapted to them - even when it is the child's own father - it is hard when you are not used to living with children or a certain set of children.

I think that there are adaptations that anyone has to make to live with anyone else - so this is something for us to remember and consider.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:26am

WOW! So many wonderful and insightful things!


So I drove to his place last night and I had a one on one with him. I told him some of the things I felt and how I saw things progressing. Most of the time he kept saying I was over analyzing things, but I kept having to remind him that if he communicated his feelings or thoughts better to me, I wouldn't have to do that.


During our conversation, we did

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:44am
Cat, that sounds like a great plan.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:48am
That sounds like a good plan to me!!! Glad we could help - it was a fun discussion and I learned a lot. Hugs to you and your girls.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 11:39am

Excellent plan!


It could be that with more one-on-one time with him, there will be more opportunity for meaningful conversation.


I didn't say this before, but in a way, this turned out to be

Avatar for mhash
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 12:00pm

I find it great that you are so willing and skilled at communicating with Nascar.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 12:45pm

Very interesting perspective. It's interesting that you mentioned the NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP) principle. Last night, I was communicating with him, but noticed that his thought process was much different. Again, my analyzing things that he didn't mean. I think I tried a few techniques last night to make things come across to him and he seemed to still be oblivious to what I was trying to say, because his responses didnt' match to my words. Then, I just stopped the entire explanation and put it in nutshell terms.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 1:01pm

What I do sometimes (when I think about it) is to ask people to reflect back (paraphrase) what they heard from me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 3:31pm

wow Mark like Judy said, I admire your candidness too.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16