A classic question --- should I call?
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| Thu, 02-01-2007 - 3:05pm |
Hi All,
Here's another classic question running thru my head.... should I call?
I had a really fun time with Sean, flavor of the week, we exchanged numbers and he said "call me." BUT I think either he'll call me or he isn't interested... I know, i know... it could take a guy up to 10 days to call. And it has been since saturday, which makes only 5 days.. but the weekend is coming up. And I want to touch base so that he'll know I am interested. Or wait til next week and try then... just to see if he was waiting for me to call.
DETAILS FROM SATURDAY:
We met at karaoke. I was sitting alone at the bar and had just given up on my coworkers from calling. He came up to the bar to get a drink and we noticed each other. He said hello and I said "Sean, right?" I remembered his name because he just sang a couple songs ago. We shook hands. He commented on how he thought he was horrible singing. Then, he invited me to sit with him at his table. That's when I noticed that I know his pal. So, I moved to sit with him. I enjoyed talking to him and laughing. We scratched a lotto scratcher and won $4. I liked his sense of humor, his voice, and his good looks... Then when the bar was closing, I was hoping we'd go someplace else.. coffee shop, or eat breakfast... kinda feeling like I didnt' want the night to end... but his pals were going home. So when he offered to follow me home to be sure I didn't get pulled over by police, etc. I thought "That's reasonable." When we got to our cars, we just so happened to park next to each other. His pal says... that's another sign. LOL I don't believe in signs but I was really enjoying his company.
So he followed me to my house. I even made him run a red light, oops. I live only 2 minutes so it wasn't far. BUT instead of saying goodbye at the door, he said, can I come in for a drink. And as I was about to say no, he said... just water. "Okay, just water." And we went inside. The children and babysitter were sleeping in the living room. The tv was on. So I quietly got a glass of water with ice for him. But he was more interested in kissing me. What a nice kiss, too. And mind you, it has been more than 3 months since I've kissed someone. How nice it was.... We kissed some more on my door step before he left. I said we should buy more lottery scratchers... I have a good feeling that we'll win again. But of course, he didn't have lottery tickets on his mind. He had a couple wandering hands, but was respectful when I stopped him. For me, it was just nice to be playful with someone and it was pretty innocent. But it was fun, too. And I'm still thinking about it 5 days later. And hoping he does call.... but if not.. no worries.

I'm sure you'll get answers different from mine, Loony, but I say call him.
You had fun, it's been 5 days. give him a call, and see if he's busy whatever night you're free. If he doesn't answer, leave a message but be brief. If he's busy, he'll either ask about a different night right then (good sign) or tell you he'll call you (not so good sign). If he tells you he'll call you, don't hold your breath waiting for it.
Sometimes men need a little push- and he said "call me". Go ahead and give him that push, but be prepared for him to be busy. Another thing- whenever a guy says "call me" to me, I ALWAYS reply "no, YOU call me." That makes it clear that I'm interested, but that the ball is in their court. Then I don't wonder about whether or not I should call. In fact, I only give out my number, never take theirs. Then I can't be tempted to call.
Moody, who would call this one time
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>>In fact, I only give out my number, never take theirs. Then I can't be tempted to call.<<
LOL... I was thinking that exact same thing this week... Funny thing was after I gave him my number (and of course the standard thing these days is to save it to your phone) he called me right then so that his number showed up on my phone. So technically, he has already called me... teeheehee.
I just love technology.
Call or not to call... the eternal question!
I think in this case, it depends on what you want and/or are willing to gain.
This man seems to be holding a sign that says "fun fling" to me- and if that is what you'd like to have, and don't expect anything more, then call him. His actions that night at your house just seems like he is 'fling material' and not serious keeper material. From the kissing when you'd just met (and him asking for water as a way to get into your house)... and the wandering hands thing before he left... that just says "fling" to me, not "caring and respectful". So like I said... I've had my flings, and I'm open enough to think that they're fine if that's what you want. But flings are NOT good if you're actually wanting something more.
If you are wanting something more deep or longer-lasting... I wouldn't call. He would be wasting your time, IMO. And if his intentions are NOT 'just for a fling'... then he will call you on his own. But you won't know that without more time going by (with you getting to know each other), or his showing more respect.
I'm all for making the man do 'the work' of calling if he is interested, since all the times I've done alot of calling, I've chased the men away by looking too eager or clingy. I'm also for a woman knowing what she wants and going for it... but in this case, I just wouldn't call. Let him prove himself truly interested first.
~shrimpy, who has been reading old journals from the 80's... and WOW was I naive then!
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
This post says it all - I could copy paste - and agree 110%
FLING - bing bing bing - I mean, I would not call back the man with the fling bing signs!!
The other thing I didn't like is that he pulled that in YOUR house with your kids and babysitter sleeping.
I do like what moody says - when a man says call me - I always say YOU call me and put that right back in their court.
I kind of think you should chalk this one up to practice.....
I would call. Simply because, i am one of these people who always wonders what if??? So if you call him, at least you will know whether he is interested or not, and what the deal is. Then you will never be left wondering if it could have been something if you had tried to call, or anything like that.
So yeah, i would call.
-Steph.
He sounds like fling material to me- and if that's what you're looking for right now, then call him.
Hi
I am in the "need to know one way or another" corner.
In your shoes, I would probably not call, but I would possibly send a text message. It's less personal, and you have less risk of being taken off your guard. Just something really casual, saying you're going to the karaoke bar again and something like "shall I reserve you a seat?", so you get a reply as to whether he's coming or not. I would avoid putting anything like "it was great to meet you the other night" - just the info that you're going out, and would he like to join you. That way, you sound fun rather than clingy.
By the way, did he know you had kids at home? If not, keep a careful check that he was not just looking for a booty call (unless that's what you would like too, in which case, fine!!)
Good luck! Looking forward to hearing how it goes.
Clem xx